Better that than him dying cause he was too soft-hearted to take me down. [It's not a bad thing that he's gentle in most things - but it's a fact. In this situation, he wouldn't survive.]
In the time I've known Dorian, there've been at least fifty different opportunities where I could have killed him, and three different times when different paths would have meant I'd betray him. [And yes, he thinks about this a lot - far more than he's ever admitted to Dorian] And I'll be damned if I let this fucking place be the reason I finally snap and end up killing him.
And if you won't help me keep that from happening, I'll figure it out myself.