[Pulls up a chair for him, because Andraste's tits, this kid is seriously like her long lost twin.] Won't work. Oh, it's an admirable goal—everyone's got to have some of those, but cats? They don't stick around long enough to teach anyone their secret language.
No. What you need is proper dragon training from an expert. Someone who's a big fan, but respects them, too. Someone halfway decent-looking wouldn't hurt, either. Stellar jokes are a plus—you need someone clever when you're dealing with dragons, right? Right.
[If Stiles sits, Barkspawn will lean forward a little to sniff him.]