Don't... Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. That'd be -- ridiculous. [RIDICULOUS!!1 if he says it enough times you'll believe him, right?]
I hardly--
[mrrr] It isn't as if it---
[GOD, learn to talk Arthur jfc] If you have any interest in Porthos that's hardly any concern of mine. You can do as you wish! [I AM TOTALLY COOL AND FINE AND NOT JEALOUS ABOUT THIS.]