[She tries a small smile, true as she's grateful for Snow's understanding and the encouragement... but like this, it's just so hard to believe.]
I wish I had your optimism. I just can't see how it would be possible... if I were to leave him, the scandal would never die out. Especially now that I'm in Her Majesty's service, I couldn't... [How would it reflect on her, if her closest handmaid was to leave her husband and home for a musketeer?
But it would be easier, so much easier, if she didn't know how happy she'd be, with d'Artagnan.]