You want to protect Her Majesty and your son. You think this is the best way.
It's not the first time that you've thought that others would be better off without you. Or that you weren't worth it. Or that you only cause unhappiness and suffering. [Runs a hand through his hair, his touch gentle] You begged to God for help and because he granted your wish, you don't want to go back on that word, even if you might also want to stay with them. [...] With us.
That doesn't mean it's a wasted chance. It just means that your wish for their wellbeing outweighs your other wishes.