[Strokes his hand over his back and the back of his neck, his touch gentle]
I know what this means to you. I know how much you want this. [He knows this is the only place where he could have this with relative safety, and where he knows enough in order to look out for him, too]
[...] [Looks down at baby, his expression softening] No matter how I feel about these things... I could never-- [hesitates, voice going very quiet] I could never fault a father wanting to hold his son.
[Blinks once, and then looks back at him, smiling at him] That outweighs anything else.