Breathplay emotional issues (Tamaki/Haruhi) part 1/2
I don't know so much about this one. I can only hope against hope that anonymous does not take to this harshly. /bow
Haruhi lost her virginity on a drizzly Wednesday afternoon to the one man she had ever loved in some fashion other than platonic. This was not to say she knew this particular fact, but she had a hunch that, in one way or another, having sex with Tamaki was different than having sex with any other person she might have considered. The act itself was all right for their first time and considering it was completely unplanned. She did not reach orgasm, which left her feeling rather unsatisfied, but she said nothing of this to him, for she knew it'd do no good. When he rolled off of her after he finished, he had immediately started another bout of crying, mumbling "I'm sorry" from time to time. He did not look up at her as she sighed and set about cleaning herself up, and did not stir when she started gathering her things to leave. As the door opened:
"Would you come back tomorrow?" His voice, barely audible, rasped and creaked from sobbing. Haruhi wanted to bite off something cynical, something suitably dry and typical and appropriate to the fact that, for god's sake, they'd just had sex the day after his mother died and wasn't that terribly disgraceful? She could not though; he sounded too pathetic, too pitiful and lost and confused for her to say anything with harshness. Instead, she gave a small smile and said yes, Tamaki, she would come back tomorrow. And so she returned home that way, unease settling in the corners of her heart as she mulled through the events of the past couple of days.
She went to her room upon entering and collapsed onto the bed, glad for once that her father wasn't home to interrogate her about where she had been and what she had been doing and with whom. And when she had dutifully told everything, he'd scoop her up into a great big hug and tell her how happy he was just to have her back home safe. Though probably not this time, not if she was truthful. Oh yeah, and Dad? I gave my virginity to Tamaki earlier this afternoon. No, it was good he was at work.
She set about doing her homework but flashes of memory creeped their way into her mind. Skin on skin, arms and legs tangled around and between and within, fingers crawling, lips and tongue and mouth everywhere. Nerves raw and emotions rawer still, they blindly tumbled headlong into something neither of them had experienced or had expected, each hoping that maybe, maybe it would be okay after. When the dust settled, they could think, but in the now, in the present, everything flew and rushed and pulsed and sung.
That was how Haruhi remembered it. That was how, in the midst of studying, she wanted more. And that was how it came to be that, the next day, she arrived at Suou Mansion #2 after school. With the Host Club still closed due to circumstances being as they were, she had nowhere but home to go. Or here to where she was drawn, so in she went and up to his room she walked.
Tamaki sat perched at the window looking forlorn but otherwise tear-free, staring out at the dreary conditions in the yard. Saying nothing, knowing he knew she was there, she went to stand near him, deciding to study him until he stirred. He looked withdrawn, shrivelled in a way; his eyes were red and puffy as was his nose and, she noted, his mouth. Strange dark marks dotted his neck, and his clothing was the same as yesterday, wrinkled from sleep. In short, he looked horrible.