Who: Shiro Fujimoto What: New Memories When: 3:26am July 29th Where: His dorm in Reality Status: Narrative, Finished Warnings:MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EP/CHP 1 AND CHP 120 + MENTIONS OF EVENTS IN CHAPTERS SURROUNDING 120 OF BLUE EXORCIST, time for some angst lads, descriptions of pain- stabbing & intense headaches, Satan is a bitch, a brief mention of smoking,
This boy is my son! And I'm taking him back!!
Shiro leapt out of bed like he'd been shot in the chest. In truth it felt like he had, a piercing pain stabbed through his heart. Shiro collapsed, grabbing the edge of the bed as it felt like his head was going to split in two. He could hear him, faint echoes of his laughter, as his voice- no as memories played through his head. He could see them all, the boys growing up from just infant babies to watching Rin walk off to his interview age 16. More came, ones of him joking with Yukio, confessing to Tadashi about his worries, eating dinner, going to bed. These were the last things he remembered. Shiro screwed his eyes shut and doubled over in pain, more memories flooded his senses, new ones.
Rin... Rin... He's... Satan was after Rin's body. He'd just been a vessel for Satan to watch him through. Shiro remembered the panic that flooded his veins when Rin wasn't in his room, the speed at which he'd raced through the streets to find him, the worry of seeing Rin engulfed in blue flames. He felt like he couldn't look away as the memories continued of that whole night. The fight with the possessed kid. Him pulling Rin through the streets, trying to explain. Rin was so upset. He looked so betrayed. Shiro's heart sank and twisted with pain. Rin wasn't listening. Rin wasn't listening. Why wouldn't Rin just listen! He was giving him the sword now, Rin was arguing with him. If this was any other time he would have welcomed it, he wanted Rin to speak his mind, but not now. Never now. Fear was coursing through his veins, Satan's laughter was so loud in his head like thunder.
He's a weak wreck inside! Hehehe! Shiro's eyes snapped open, but he didn't see the floor. All he could see was Rin's yelling face as Satan's voice drowned out his words, Now is the perfect time to possess him! Tears rolled down Shiro's cheeks, he could almost feel the impact of Rin's cheek in his hand. He slapped him. Shiro had slapped his son. The memories of his possession played on in rapid succession, until Shiro laid on the floor of his room staring at the ceiling that was slowly coming back into focus. Finally the memories faded away, leaving him with the final words he'd heard in his dream.
"He's my son. I'm taking him back...." Shiro's voice was barely a whisper. His tears rolled down the sides of his face into his ears, but he couldn't bring himself to move. It was everything Rin had said and so much more. So much worse. Why... Why did I ever listen to him. He could only think about how smug Satan had sounded after he slapped Rin, how he mocked him for ever believing such a stupid lie. God he'd been so scared to loose Rin. So scared that he lost himself. He'd given Satan what he needed to be possessed, the final emotional crack after years of resisting him.
Shiro's hands lifted from the floor, his right hand still smarted like he'd just smacked Rin. He pushed his slid his fingers under glasses that weren't there and pressed his palms into his eyes. He knew that day would come one day, that Rin would find out about his demonic heritage, he'd see his flames, and unleash his power, but why? Why did he have to leave Rin for it to happen? Why? He never got to see Yukio on his first day teaching, he'd never get to see Rin land his first job, answer their late night calls full of endless questions about what to do next, he'd never get to meet their future partners, go to their weddings, see any grandchildren, celebrate birthdays, Christmases, New Years, he'd never get the chance to look Mephisto in the face and say with pride that his boys turned out to be fine men. Even with Rin finding out about his heritage, he'd never get to train him or watch Rin grow. He hoped to god Shura stepped in to help him. Out of everyone he knew she was the best one suited to handle Rin's energy and temper, and the best knight he'd known in a long time.
Shiro laid on the floor like that for a long time. Slowly his hands left his eyes and he sat up. His head was pounding, like he'd spent all night throwing cold ones back. He looked at his beside clock, it was now 3:47am. He rubbed his face and leaned against his bed. His eyes stung and his nose was stuffy. Shiro cleared his throat and sat like that, staring at the floor. He wasn't sure where to start processing his feelings, but he knew he shouldn't keep laying there mourning his losses. If he did he'd never get up again, there were to many to count. You're here now. You can be here now for him. That's what he needed to do. Right now, by what ever circumstances allowed him to end up here, he was here and he was alive. He could do everything he wanted to do for Rin now. He would be there for Rin for as long as his time here let him be. Shiro rubbed his face again one more time before he pushed himself up to go to the bathroom. God nights like this made him want to get back into smoking.