That's not something you're ever going to get. Yeah, you were abused. You aren't the only person who was. You think growing up in the foster system was fun or easy? You trusted the wrong people and you made a lot of shitty choices. Been there, done that too. But you had a team who cared about you and you betrayed them. You hurt them. You made me love you and then you threw it in my face. You kept making the worst choices and expecting forgiveness to be handed to you. You tried to manipulate the situation so you could stalk me from your cell because you decided to transfer your unhealthy, obsessive loyalty to me. And when that didn't work out, you moved it to Kara. You don't need understanding, Ward. You need a reality check.