You realize we'd have to get a greeting for you programmed into our docking bay that said "Hi, I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite planet in the galaxy." right?
...Don't joke about that Shepard. That's not funny. Not at all.
Do you have emergency induction ports handy? I feel like this is a situation that requires them. Would you like company? I'm sure you'd like the partner. She'd have fit right in with the crew.