ᴀᴅᴀɪɴᴇ ᴀʙᴇʀɴᴀᴛʜ (portential) wrote in jurassiccitylog, @ 2016-06-07 19:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | barry allen / the flash, eobard thawne / reverse-flash |
who: Barry Allen and Eobard Thawne.
what: Everything has been somewhat awful lately. It gets worse.
where: A rooftop in the city.
when: Evening.
warning: Violence. Unhealthy thoughts. More violence.
status: Complete.
Things had been something of a complete mess lately. Between everything happening to him back home, everything happening to Len back home, Mick's arrival, Iris's arrival, and most recently Oliver's arrival, there had been a lot to adjust to. He wished he could talk to Len about how he was feeling, but he didn't think it was fair to throw his problems at his boyfriend when Len had died back home and was going through a lot himself. He had told him a bit, well...told Oliver a bit publicly then fumbled his way through explaining it to Len, but he hadn't really covered how deeply it was affecting him. There was just a lot going on in his head. His experience with the Speed Force, dying and ending up there and coming back, had been a lot, especially being faced with his feelings regarding his mother dying and his inability to save her. He was still reeling over his father's death, the image of Zoom killing him burned into his mind. He'd barely been sleeping. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw it all over again. Nearly losing Joe as well hadn't helped. Especially since that only happened because the people he loved had turned their backs on him and locked him up because they didn't agree with how he wanted to handle Zoom. It hurt, knowing that they hadn't trusted him. Feeling betrayed by everyone he loved. He still wasn't quite over that, even though he and Iris had talked it out. Then there was the mess with Zoom and the magnetar and his time remnant. It had taken a lot out of him, physically and emotionally. Sacrificing his remnant to save the multiverse (and if he was being honest, the only reason he hadn't sacrificed himself was that he couldn't have done so and stopped Zoom from killing everyone else). Finally being rid of Zoom, but in a way that wasn't satisfying when all he had wanted to do was kill him. It was hard. He wasn't sure how to move forward. He hadn't been lying when he told Iris and Len that he felt hollowed out and broken. So broken he'd been ready to make a stupid, selfish choice that could have ruined everything. But he'd just wanted the pain to stop. It felt like no matter what he did, everything just hurt. Len and Iris helped, more than helped, but it didn't change the fact that there was a lot going on in his head and he wasn't quite sure how to fix it. It didn't help that every time he turned around, there was someone else questioning his relationship. Why couldn't people just accept that it made him happy and leave it at that. He felt like he was coming apart at the seams and that was the one thing that made it better. He needed some time to think, so he'd gone off by himself, wearing the Flash suit with the cowl pulled back on the off chance Len got bored and decided to try and pull off a heist. He'd offhandedly mentioned he might see about robbing a museum with Mick for old times sake and Barry wanted to be ready if he did. He and his boyfriend (and his boyfriend's boyfriend? That whole situation was a whole different kind of messy) definitely had a strange way of flirting. But the idea of fighting Len, not in any serious way but as a challenge, was the first thing in a while that made him feel good. Still, he definitely wanted to get his head on straight just in case. Lately it had just been...a lot. He was currently on the roof of a building, staring out over the city, just taking a minute to breathe. His life was good here, he had a boyfriend and girlfriend he loved more than he'd ever thought he could love someone and he was happy, he really was, but he couldn't leave behind the things that had happened back home. They had chipped away at him and he was more tired and worn down than he knew how to handle. He really needed to catch a break before he broke apart completely. |