InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Damn the man!"

self-stʏled αntɩchrɪƽt (ԁαᴍieᴨ) (slipuponpurpose) wrote in jurassiccitycom,
@ 2017-05-13 00:01:00

Entry tags:

mark bryant, robert gorham / damien

text messages to mark.
✉ [ screenshot of daisy's texts]
✉ WHAT IS HAPPENING?

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	verycharming 2017-05-13 04:17 am UTC (link)
	✉ Looks like someone wants to be your friend. ✉ Without you manipulating them into it. ✉ Guess that would be new for you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	slipuponpurpose 2017-05-13 04:24 am UTC (link)
	✉ I don't force people to be my friends. ✉ And yes, shut up. I know. ✉ You were a special case. ✉ And even then, I wasn't forcing you to like me. ✉ Just to not leave. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

phone call.

verycharming
2017-05-13 04:47 am UTC (link)

Damien's phone rang and when he picked up, Mark didn't hesitate before speaking.

"I'm really fucked up," he said to start, taking a shaky breath. "I'm so fucked up it's not even funny. I used to...god...I used to love going out and meeting people and having...jesus...having a life. And...and I can't. It's overwhelming. It's so...fucking overwhelming. Because there's all these people. And I'm not used to that. I was locked up and then I was alone and I'm not used to people being able to see or hear me so I end up talking to myself like a fucking lunatic and they look at me like a fucking lunatic." He took a long breath, followed by a longer swallow of scotch. Yay, self medication. "And even if they didn't, I don't know who they are or what they want and I can't trust them. I can't...I can't...I can't trust anyone! Do you get that? I can't trust anyone. I know Joanie would be telling me I need to talk to someone, to a therapist or something, but I can't. I can't trust anyone because that is broken. I second guess everything and everyone. I'm suspicious of everything. The AM did a number on me. And you did a number on me. And I...god, I trusted you. I trusted you and I liked you." He stopped to take another drink of scotch. God, Joanie would give him such shit if she could see this. "And that's the fucking problem. I trusted you for the whole summer. And it's still there like this lingering...thing. I know that it's because of your power, I know that logically, but it's still there. And I hate it and I hate you because I can't even trust myself or my mind or my emotions. I at least had that and you took that. You took that last little thing I had to hold on to. And now I don't fucking know what to do. So stop giving me excuses, all right?"

He sighed.

"And you know the worst part? I would have liked you if you hadn't been such a dick about it."

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phone call.

slipuponpurpose
2017-05-13 05:03 am UTC (link)

Damien really didn't like talking on the phone. It was always just words coming at him, hollow and empty words that he couldn't feel or affect. Things that he couldn't change or control. And that was a feeling that he did everything he could to avoid. But as much as he was startled and dismayed when the phone rang, he answered it.

Not that he'd even had the chance to get out so much as a hello before Mark was spouting off, throwing a rush of words at him. Even in the pauses, Damien didn't get enough of his thoughts together to interrupt, and as things began to tapper off, he didn't even have enough brainpower to put together a coherent and proper response. Not one that was suitable, at least.

Still. He had to say something.

"I was going to go full dick eventually even if I'd started out nice enough. Might as well dive in head first," Damien said, a slight strain in the words even as he said them, a silence falling for a brief second before he spoke again.

"Have you just... not been talking to anyone this whole time?"

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phone call.

verycharming
2017-05-14 04:10 am UTC (link)

"Oh my god!" Mark shouted, barely refraining from throwing his glass at the wall. "There's a difference between being a dick and...what you did to me. You kidnapped me. You lied to me. You manipulated me. You made me think I was going crazy, that the girl I was in love with didn't actually exist. You kept me locked up and controlled me just like the AM did. That's not being a dick. That's being a freaking psychopath." He gritted his teeth as he tried to calm down. "You're a dick, Damien. You have shitty social skills and you can be a real asshole when you want to be, but...I liked your personality. I liked you. I just hated what you did to me. How is that so hard for you to grasp? If you didn't constantly take advantage of people and force them to do things they don't want to, you would probably have more friends!"

He stopped, taking a shaky breath.

"Who would I talk to?" he asked quietly.

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phone call.

slipuponpurpose
2017-05-14 04:35 am UTC (link)

Except, no, he wouldn't. People only liked him when he wanted them to like him, only trusted him when he wanted them to trust him, only tolerated him when he wanted them to tolerate him. Genuine interactions were next to impossible, so why not double down on making sure that reactions were what he wanted and what he needed when the situation demanded it? Especially the situation that he'd pulled Mark out of.

"What would you have done? If I'd told you that Dr. B had sent me in because I was the only one who was able to get past security, that time travel girl had dragged your mind out just so I wouldn't have to carry dead weight?" Damien asked, the words coming out a bit more defensive than they needed to be when he wasn't the one who was dealing with things. "Because I know what you would have fucking done. You would have said thanks and been on your way, and that was fine when I didn't..." Damien stopped, letting out a strangled growl before pulling the phone back from his face as he tried to take a few breaths to calm himself down.

"Your darling sister told me that she didn't know about anyone with my ability, that she'd never heard of anything like it before, and the one thing I asked her to help me with was to find someone who could do what I could do, who would understand what it was like, and she... The whole time, she knew exactly what you could do, and she lied to me. She sent me into that place to do her goddamn dirty work, and she didn't have the decency to tell me the one thing I had wanted to hear for forever. No, I had to find it out from Agent Asshole," Damien said, a heavy strain in the words. "I wasn't thinking about what it would do to you, okay? I was just thinking about how it was what she deserved, having something she'd put so much time and effort into achieving stripped away from her by the actions of one individual. It seemed like fair play."

Sighing, Damien leaned back against the chair he was in, looking up at the ceiling of the room. There were so many answers that he could give to Mark's last question, but there was one that just jumped out at him immediately. "Anyone?" Damien suggested. "It's not like you're lacking for options, Mark. And essentially texting people isn't dangerous."

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phone call.

verycharming
2017-05-14 05:08 am UTC (link)

God, Mark really wanted to punch Damien right in the throat. How could someone so arrogant be so fucking insecure? Why did Damien have to make himself into some kind of victim when all he ever did was take advantage of people? Why couldn't he just behave like literally anyone else in the world? It was so incredibly frustrating.

"I probably would have said thanks and been on my way," Mark agreed, "because I was coming off a really fucked up situation and I needed time to deal. And then I probably would have looked you up and invited you out for a drink or something once my head was on straight because you helped save my fucking life, man! But you didn't give me that chance. You just did what you wanted."

"Jesus Christ, Damien," Mark spit the words out with an exasperated sigh. "What did you expect her to do after you invaded her privacy, took away her agency and forced her to not only tell you things about herself she wasn't comfortable with, but also break her implicit promise to protect the information of her other patients and not share it? She didn't like you or trust you. And Joanie is protective. Very protective. We...we only really had each other. And then...what happened to me...can you really blame her for putting my well-being above giving you what you wanted?"

He sighed. "At least you're admitting to being a selfish jerk."

He shook his head, even though he knew Damien couldn't see. "I can't." Just thinking about it made him freeze up.

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phone call.

slipuponpurpose
2017-05-14 06:03 am UTC (link)

"I'm not an idiot. I know what she thinks of me," Damien said, a sharpness in his tone. "And the second the AM started asking questions about you, I'm sure she would have happily offered me up as a substitute so you probably wouldn't have gotten that chance. And yeah. I did what I wanted. Because that's what I do. I don't see why everyone seems to have such a fucking hard time understanding that. I could do a lot more damage if I wanted to. I can count on one hand the number of people who can resist me. You have no idea the kind of destruction I could rain down if I was so inclined. But the worst I had ever done before this was ask questions and maybe try and strike up a conversation in the waiting room. I backed off the second any one of Dr. B's precious patients was uncomfortable with me, and yet, no, I was still somehow not trustworthy enough to know everything even though I was the one risking my ass," Damien groused.

Pressing a hand to his forehead, Damien echoed Mark's sigh, "Why would I not? I'm always a selfish jerk. And you can. You can't just... lock yourself in your room and never come out. You do that, you might as well be back at the AM."

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