Enver Huzjak (zvati) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2013-01-28 16:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | allegra hawke, enver huzjak |
WHO: Allegra Hawke (AUSTRALIA) & Enver Huzjak (CROATIA)
WHAT: After his recent batch of bitchiness, Allegra talks to Enver about what's going on.
WHEN: Let's say today, January 28th.
WARNINGS: Feels?
STATUS: Completed.
The road to normalcy wasn't an easy one, and Allegra had expected a bumpy ride this week -- though a fight in the cafeteria and Enver calling Devon a bitch had certainly not been in her list of predictions for their first week of classes and training. Having had spent so much time protecting her emotional stability by hiding out away from the rest of the school meant that Allegra felt very much out of the loop on everyone else's emotional state. As she finally caught sight of Enver after his text, she felt a pang of guilt that she had not attempted to reach out to him much earlier. "Do me a favour?" she inquired gently with a small smile as she approached him from the side. His head down and his hands thrust deep into his pockets, Enver had been idly drifting through the halls, scuffing shoes along the floor as he went. He wasn't even sure where he was headed, to be honest. He didn't like being in his room anymore, the concerted effort of looking everywhere but the empty bed across from him made his head hurt. And as awful as he felt about it, he couldn't really bring himself to be around people anymore, especially after the fight. So he had been en route to nowhere when Allegra pulled up beside him, lost in his thoughts. "Hmm?" He responded quietly. She frowned a little as second-hand sorrow anchored within, growing stronger the closer she was to him. "Give me one of your famous hugs?" she asked tentatively, watching him carefully, almost expecting him to refuse judging by the way he was feeling and how unexpectedly out of character he had been. At first she'd presumed it was the kidnappings, and then the deaths, but now? She was bewildered as to the cause of his damp mood. When he heard her request, Enver flashed Allegra a weak smile; shaky and unconvincing, to try and fool her into thinking he was alright. Then to further the charade, he pulled her into a hug, wrapping both arms around her and squeezing as tight as he could muster. But it lacked all of his usual warmth and vigor, the gesture lifeless and limp even as he pulled her closer. Pulling back, he gave her another of those weak, shaky smiles, hoping she was convinced. As an empath, Allegra was far from convinced, the sorrow only magnifying to the fullest extent of his experience of it as he pulled her into an empty embrace. Somewhere within, she felt a twist of hurt for him, that he could be so dejected and upset that even mustering up a hug for a good friend was too hard. "What's wrong?" she asked, frown deeping as he let her go. "I--" Stopping himself, Enver shook his head and attempted another smile. "Nothing is wrong." "You're talking to an empath," she reminded him a little more dryly than she intended. "I'm worried about you. Everyone else can deal with Sam for now, but I know you're not okay. You haven't been for a while, right?" His gaze flicking over her shoulder, Enver scanned the area around them, to see if anyone could listen in. There were alone, but he still looked worried, scared and small despite his considerable bulk, "I-- it was Christmas. Something happened at home..." "What happened?" she prompted gently, still frowning in concern. This was not the Enver she was used to and, in a way, it was a little heartbreaking to see such a gentle person so vulnerable and small. Frowning, Enver passed a questioning glance over his teammate. He wasn't sure why he was telling her-- He did trust Allegra, she was his teammate, a good person and a dear friend. But the secret he was carrying had proven too much for his own mother, what hope did he have when it came to his friends? Still, it was too much to keep all inside, always gnawing at him, he had to tell someone. And maybe Allegra would stay at his side if the rest of the team turned on him. Arms wrapped tight around his middle, he changed the subject, desperate for some assurance, "Would you still like me if I wasn't me?" "How could you not be you?" she wondered, her tone now laced with the sort of fear one feels when they witness something so fragile chipped in a way they don't know how to fix. She could read enough of his emotions to know that whatever it was that he was worried about, it was harder than anything she'd felt him face before. "I would like you no matter what, Enver." If he just said it quickly, he told himself, it would be easier. Like ripping off a bandage. "My parents, they-- I had gotten drunk and they..." Shaking his head, Enver cursed under his breath in Croatian. Why was it so hard to say? Allegra was nice. She'd have to keep liking him. Setting his gaze on the girl's feet, he forced himself to carry on, "They found me in bed with someone." It was a good thing that Allegra could not read thoughts as well as emotions, for she would have objected to being seen as nice. Enver was nice. Max was nice. She was, well, kind of a bitch sometimes. But her power pushed her to factor in feelings whether she wanted to or not, sometimes pulling out a harshness that wouldn't have otherwise been there, or a softness born of compassion from being unable to help but feel how someone else felt. "So they're upset because you had sex? That doesn't make you a bad person, Enver," she assured him as she reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. Still unable to look Allegra in the eye, Enver murmured softly, "I was with my friend. Goran." "Goran is...?" "A boy." Up until now, Allegra had been one of those charmed teenagers who fit in easily wherever she went, ticked the boxes and fit the mould. She was pretty, friendly, confident, athletic, social, well-dressed, smart, etc. And then she'd become a Vol, hid this part of herself from as many people as she could, unable to accept it as a part of herself. And then came the kidnappings and for the first time in a long time, Allegra understood what it meant to be hated for what she was. She recalled sitting in the interrogation room, feeling the distrust, the disgust, the dislike from the suspects and interrogatees. Directed towards her. She'd never really faced that before, never felt it. And then there was Mark, Talia -- her own family, viewing her own kind as something that needed to be kept away from the rest of the world, too dangerous to participate. Freaks, Talia said, had been saying ever since Allegra's powers initially manifested. She was a freak. So when she put the pieces together, anger flared within, partly for Enver, partly for herself. "Sleeping with a boy does not change who you are. You're Enver, the sweetest person I know. You see the best in people, you hate fighting, you don't want to talk about chips, you have the loudest laugh and the best smile. I don't care who you do or don't sleep with, that's not even a-- That's just. Oh, sweetie," she finished, sounding a little like her mother as she pulled him into a hug. "That doesn't matter to me." Letting his teammate pull him into her arms, Enver felt something inside of him well up and then break, all the things he'd been trying his best not to think about over the last few weeks coming up to the surface and overwhelming him. His shoulders trembled as he broke down into quiet sobs, still trying to hold himself back, "It matters to them," he murmured against Allegra's shoulder, "They do not want me to come home. Mama-- she won't speak to me." "They'll come around," she assured him, the same words that Caleb had given to her when she was upset about her Dad calling Vols too dangerous and unsafe to be let out. "Because you're their son and they love you and one day they'll remember that you're more important than something stupid like who you hook up with." "I just want to talk to them now..." Enver sniffed quietly, lifting one hand to wipe at his eyes, making sure all the traces of his tears were gone when he finally pulled away from Allegra. Frowning sadly, he hesitated before asking his next question, "Do you think the rest of the team will still like me?" "Of course they will. Well, who knows what Devon likes, but the rest? Definitely." She smiled tentatively, hoping he would grasp at least a little assurance from it. As she squeezed his shoulder gently, his sadness filled her and the smile faltered considerably. "How could they dislike you?" The young man shrugged, taking at least some solace in Allegra's reassurance. "Sam was being a jerk and everything was stupid... I was worried that this would just make things worse." "Yeah, well, Sam is--" She didn't know what to say about Sam. He'd been cheated on, hadn't he? Or something like that, from the reports of what had happened in the cafeteria earlier. And she had a lot of strong feelings about cheating. "I don't know. It doesn't matter. This is more important anyway." |