victor reyes. (strongarms) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2013-01-28 10:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! log, daisy hughes, vic reyes |
WHO: Daisy Hughes & Victor Reyes.
WHAT: Daisy & Vic finally talk about Various Issues.
WHEN: Sunday, January 27th. After religious services.
WHERE: Daisy & Jodi's room.
WARNINGS: None.
STATUS: Complete log.
Despite all his recent conflict with Hunter, Vic wasn't in the habit of fighting with his friends. He wasn't drawn to arguments the way Hunter was, he let things go. If there was ever something he felt angry enough to fight over, it was usually with fists, not words. No cold shouldering or bickering, just a knockout punch that'd lay the other guy out on the floor -- and then it was done. But Vic's Standard Way of Doing Things was muddled by this recent change in his relationship with Hunter. This new dynamic that was forcing him to change the way he looked at both their friendship and himself. And it was all his fault. He wasn't in the habit of fighting with his friends, but he also wasn't accustomed to being forced to deal with something he was so wholly opposed to. He also wasn't accustomed to anyone else getting involved in his friendship with Hunter. What went on between them was between them -- or at least, that's how it used to be. Before they were snatched up and locked in a bubble, with all these new people thrown into their lives. They didn't need a mediator. They didn't need anyone else to talk to, they handled things on their own with the knowledge that things would eventually be resolved. But this was no normal fight. Last weekend, he had promised Hunter he'd leave girls alone so he could really think about what he wanted. Take some time for himself. Since then, he'd had enough time to reflect on everything that had transpired over the past couple weeks. His fight with Hunter. The girls he flirted with. His argument with Daisy. He still felt he was justified in not wanting to talk to about the situation with Daisy, but he had handled it poorly. He was still operating under the assumption that it was just the two of them against the world, but Hunter needed more than that, didn't he? That was something he appreciated Daisy for -- had told her as much, even. Hunter needed other people to rely on and look after him; he certainly couldn't come to Vic about this, not now. With that in mind, he knew he owed Daisy an apology of sorts. He had thought about it all during Mass. She was his friend -- the one he'd signed up for the rescue squad for -- and as much as he didn't want to talk about his sexuality conflict, he didn't want to keep ignoring her, either. It was why he was outside her door, his expression tight as he raised his hand to knock. "Daisy? It's Vic," he announced, his tone low. Inside room 3a, Daisy's eyes went to the door. She was at her closet, having just pulled off the blouse that she'd worn to morning services. Since the kidnapping, Daisy had felt a renewed closeness to God -- or at the very least, a renewed obligation to thank Him for her life. But the heat of the afternoon necessitated less conservative clothing. "Just a minute," she yelled, pulling a tank top off of a hanger. She certainly hadn't been expecting Vic's company, and Daisy felt strangely nervous. She wondered if maybe he was here to further reprimand her for meddling in his business (she bristled at the notion, already having been scolded once that week for 'meddling' in the lives of her friends) with Hunter. Everything seemed to set Daisy on edge lately. She seemed to assume the worst from every situation. Daisy pulled the tank top over her head, adjusting it in the mirror. Mentally, she reached out and unlocked the door with her powers, her eyes leaving the mirror. "K, it's open." The door shut tightly behind him as he walked in, though he didn't move to sit down. Vic hovered in front of the doorway before he leaned back, settling against the door. He felt strangely nervous as well, but for an entirely different reason. This would mark the first time he talked about what was happening in person with someone other than Hunter. There was a tight ball of anxiety lodged firmly in his stomach, panging when he thought about what was about to happen. Discussing it with Daisy in person -- it moved the entire situation to a more palpable place. It was no longer some contained issue between him and his best friend. He sighed as he ran a hand through his dark hair, lifting his shoulders in a small shrug. "I'm sorry I haven't been very talkative. About what's going on," he started, frank and to the point. Vic quickly glanced up at her, only to immediately drop his gaze down to the floor. Eye contact was nigh impossible right now. "But I'm not -- I don't want to hurt Hunter, you know. This is just something that's... really fucking hard for me to deal with." He wouldn't elaborate on the whys; he knew Daisy had read the conversation he'd had with Hunter on Omar's entry. (The irony of an in depth discussion of his sexuality on Omar's entry was not lost on him. Vic tried not to think about it.) Daisy closed the closet door and leaned nervously against the wall, as if in some kind of strange, awkward stand-off with the boy in her room. She was almost taken aback at how quickly he'd moved to the topic at hand. There was no stilted small talk here. "Okay," Daisy finally said, her vowels long and hesitant. He was right, she did know that Vic didn't want to hurt Hunter. But that didn't change the fact that she still felt irritated with him. She'd been upset that he'd made Hunter swear not to tell her about what had happened -- and even more upset at the way Vic had reacted to her own attempts to talk to him. Before break, Daisy had thought that they were friends -- now, she wasn't entirely sure whether or not Vic even thought that a real friendship was possible with her. She tried to stifle her irritation now, especially here in the face of his apology. "I mean, I get it," she shrugged. Daisy looked at Vic, even though he couldn't seem to bring himself to look at her. "I know it's not like, easy. And I'm glad y'all are talking again." "Me too," he replied, with obvious relief in his voice. He hated fighting with Hunter. Hunter always retreated into himself when they fought, depressed and dejected, but Vic reacted in the opposite way. He challenged people to sparring matches, he trained harder, he threw himself at any girl who looked his way. Anything to distract himself from how wrong he felt without him. "But--" And Vic looked up, finally, giving her a direct look. "If I don't want to talk about something, I don't want to talk about it. That kind of pressure -- it only makes it worse. It's not a trust issue. But when I'm dealing with shit, I can't deal with people breathing down my neck." He paused, his mouth tightening in a frown. "I was going to tell you the next day, at Pub Night. I promised him I would and I keep my promises." Daisy reacted defensively, drawing her arms around herself as she stiffened against the wall. She stared back at Vic, taking in his words. That he was going to tell her only because of a promise he'd made to Hunter didn't make her feel any better -- really, it made her feel worse. She didn't doubt Vic's friendship with Hunter, or whether or not Vic had the best of intentions with his best friend. But she didn't want to feel like she was someone who Vic was merely tolerating. Like she was an irritation more than a friend. "Okay," she said again, staring back at him. This time, she didn't follow it up with anything else. She had been sorry, she was sorry for making Vic upset, but now that she felt attacked, Daisy closed her mouth in a line. His eyebrows lifted as he studied her expression, his frown deepening as he realized she was still upset. Jesus, he was bad at this. It didn't occur to him that she was upset that he wouldn't want to tell her. It was not at all a personal decision; he could barely stomach the idea of anyone knowing. He could barely tolerate knowing what was wrong with him. Vic just wanted to move on from this entire thing and go forward. For things to reset to how they were, before all this had happened. He didn't want to end up constantly arguing with Daisy or Hunter or anyone else. He pushed himself off the door, taking a few steps in her direction. "Look, I'm tired of this shit. I want things to be cool between us. We just got you back." The thought of the kidnappings and all that entailed caused him to unconsciously rub at the back of his neck, where the chip had been implanted. Vic had been looking forward to the tentative conclusion of their winter break -- New York with Daisy and Carter. It would've been fun. "We should be... I don't know, making fun of Hunter or something. Not this." Daisy's stony glare softened a little at his words, although her arms tightened unconsciously around her torso as he stepped toward her. It wasn't that Daisy was scared of Vic, but the feeling of confrontation closing in upon her sparked some kind of instinctual fear. She managed to bury it mostly, fighting against the strange kind of panic she found herself facing once or twice a day since getting back to IVI. Daisy swallowed, trying to answer Vic's lighthearted joke with one of her own. Nothing came to mind. Instead, Daisy sighed, pushing her hair back out of nervous habit. The other arm stayed at her middle. With the closet door closed, she could no longer see herself in the mirror, but Daisy imagined that she must look like the very picture of strung out. The thought was not comforting. Something Vic had said kept echoing in her mind. We just got you back. It was a concept she'd struggled with quite a bit over the past few weeks -- that she had some kind of a strange obligation to the people who'd help rescue her, that it wasn't fair for her to be upset with anyone, especially not Vic or Carter or anyone else' who'd been forced to worry that she might be dead. It was something Daisy found that she simultaneously believed and resented, depending on her mood or the time of day. Most of the time, she wanted to be happy, or at least to pretend to be happy, both for herself and for everyone around her. But other times she felt an odd sort of anger, coming from somewhere inside that Daisy couldn't seem to place. "Like..." Daisy finally started, although she had to pause and recollect her thoughts after the first word was out of her mouth. "I mean, I want things to be cool too. I just... I'm not like you. I can't just keep stuff bottled up inside, and I just -- I didn't know what else to do besides try to talk to you. I get it if you have to tell me that you like, can't talk or need time or whatever, but.." Daisy's arm found a place back around herself and she looked away from Vic, her eyes finding a stack of papers on Jodi's desk to stare at. "Like, please don't yell at me. I was just worried. About both of you." It was becoming increasingly clear that Daisy's current emotional state had less to do with Vic and more to do with something else entirely. It didn't take a genius to realize it probably had something to do with the kidnappings and Vic felt a twinge of guilt over it. Had he yelled? He couldn't remember every conversation, but he didn't think he'd started off yelling. Sharp, maybe. A little snappy. But it was such an important secret; it felt dramatic to label it life or death considering all that had happened, but it was certainly life changing. Life ruining, in his opinion. Still, in comparison to everything she'd recently gone through -- he wasn't sure what to do next. Part of him thought it was best to maybe just leave her alone for now; another part of him wanted to do something to comfort her. Ultimately, Vic decided on the latter. "I know," he replied, low and quiet. "I get that. And I'm glad Hunter has someone looking out for him. I don't resent that, I just..." He shrugged again, suddenly at a loss for words. Vic was a physical person -- he wanted to pull her in for a hug, but at this point, he wasn't sure if the gesture would be appreciated or acceptable. He hung back, though his intentions were all written out on his face. "I'm sorry I yelled. I'm not usually like that. Shit's been weird." Finally something inside of Daisy relaxed. Her shoulders dropped and she let out a silent breath of air. She no longer felt like Vic's words carried a sense of combativeness with them. Her defenses were allowed to drop. "Yeah, I know. I mean, it's okay." Daisy took a step and then another. She moved to sit on her bed, fresh lines spreading across the lavender comforter that was neatly tucked into all of the corners. That was the kind of conversation you had with a friend, Daisy thought, one where you both sat and talked and listened. That kind of conversation was so much easier. "Do ya think things'll get easier?" Daisy asked, looking to where Vic stood. He was silent as he watched the blonde visibly relax, taking it as a cue that maybe it was all right for him to sit down beside her. Vic crossed over to the bed and sunk down into the mattress, close to Daisy but not too close, one palm sliding back on the comforter to support his weight as he leaned back a little. Do you think things'll get easier? It was a question he really didn't know how to answer. Truthfully, Vic wasn't sure, but he certainly didn't think so. He didn't see himself becoming okay with everything overnight. He didn't see himself ever living up to what Hunter really needed and wanted -- someone who wouldn't want to hide their relationship, someone who would feel comfortable with gestures of romance. But he didn't want to tell Daisy that, either. He didn't want to give her more reason to worry over the both of them. "Dunno," he sighed, staring down at the comforter. "I hope so but I don't really know what's going to happen. I know I don't want to hurt him." There was another pause before he added: "What about you? Are things getting easier for you?" The question wasn’t really any simpler for Daisy than it had been for Vic, but she had her answer ready. “Oh, I’m fine.” It had become rote repetition at this point. People wanted her to be okay. Daisy was pretty sure that there were some people who even needed her to be okay. And so she was. Or at least she was trying to be. The more she smiled, the more she told everyone that things were fine, the more Daisy even began to believe it, herself. She flashed a small smile at Vic. “Thanks for coming to talk to me. And for like, trusting me.” Daisy steered the conversation back to him, wanting to avoid any follow-up questions that might lead to her having to talk about the kidnappings. Worrying about other people’s problems was so much easier. It felt so much better. “It means a lot to me.” Maybe he wasn't as close to Daisy as Hunter, but it was obvious to anyone who knew her at all -- really, obvious to anyone with eyes -- that she was clearly not fine. How could she be? Vic didn't think anyone could manage fine after an experience like that. There was the urge to ask more questions, anything that would drag an honest answer out of her so he could try to do something to make her feel better. He opened his mouth to tell her, no, she wasn't fine -- then closed it. He couldn't force her to open up about something she didn't want to discuss. Wasn't that exactly what they were talking about? He returned her small smile with one of her own, reaching out to rest a reassuring hand over hers. "You're welcome." |