damien harrington, human x-ray machine (seesthrough) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2013-01-27 22:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! email, damien harrington, savannah bordeaux |
To: Savannah Bordeaux [sbordeaux@ivi.edu.au]
From: Damien Harrington [dharrington@ivi.edu.au]
SUBJECT: i tried ??
that post the other day got me thinking. i used to sleep way later, but it wasn't for any real reason. most of my friends in school fucked off to college and i just hung around at home. now if i sleep late it's because of you, my favourite night-owl, not really anything else. i guess before i was just doing nothing and trying to figure out what i'd do instead of nothing wasn't really so important.
anyway i'm shit at writing emails that aren't just dumb jokes but all this extra therapy and this constant stubborn "i have to be better i have to look forwards" makes me feel like i should let you in that bit more. you're my best friend already. it makes me feel shitty when you have those insecure moments but i get it. i get them. i sit there thinking about what the fuck i'm going to do with life and why it's all so much easier when i'm in here. which is stupid, because the last thing i want is to be shut up somewhere again. where all you have is some dumb hope that no one else is sharing because they think it's stupid and hopeless.
[...] sorry. you don't need to hear that.
do you ever think about what it'd be like, being a vol in the real world again? it got scary really quick. it got bigger than me, bigger than all of us. it was stupid to think that we could just go home and things would be the same. it's always going to be weird with my family, and they're only my family. i'd like to go home, have a normal life. get a job, be something. do something. i just don't know what yetand it frustrates me. you have something, and it's something you love and you're good at. and no one can take that away from you.
alright, enough of the sharing. i've left myself mostly uncensored, too, so there's that.
hope you sleep well. i'll actually go to training tomorrow. try make a full week of it, yeah?i don't know what i'd do if i had no one to say this to
-d