E-MAIL. TO: Savannah Bordeaux (sbordeaux@ivi.edu.au) FROM: Hunter Bordeaux (hbordeaux@tulane.edu) SUBJECT:
Ma belle étoile,
Christmas is a month away. The Magnolia--and Tulane, if I must!--have been good to us this year, but as you well know, we don't live in the Garden District and can't book overnight flights across the globe with the Jolie-Pitts. Please let us know if you'll be coming home before your mother maxes out her credit card for nothing. We love you and want to see you safe and in one piece, as the good Lord intended if He knew what was good for Him--clearly, an intention that the iron-booted idiots over at your fancy international school do not have.
Je t'aime, Dad
PS: Call your mother. Despite what you might think, we do like to think we learned something from the last time, and we're trying. Please throw us a bone, even if it's a chicken bone.
PPS: Even if you don't call us, please at least read the next e-mail I'm sending you. It'll be a link from the Times-Picayune. If you can't accept my worry, maybe you can appreciate an old man's eloquent trashing of an equally old (but arguably grouchier) lady.
PPPS: Seriously, your last e-mail dates back to five weeks ago. Please at least confirm for us that you're alive?
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Dr. Hunter Bordeaux, Ph.D. Professor of Southern Literature Vice Chair, Department of English Tulane University Norman Mayer 122 New Orleans, LA 70118 (504) 865-5160 hbordeaux@tulane.edu