damien harrington, human x-ray machine (seesthrough) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2013-07-13 18:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! log, damien harrington, finlay mccracken |
WHO: Damien Harrington and Finlay McCracken
WHAT: Well. One more fight before leaving IVI forever.
WHEN: Today
WHERE: Outside the dorms
WARNINGS: Swears
STATUS: Completed log
Just over a year ago, he’d stood on that very spot and imagined IVI to be some grand new start. Damien before IVI had been a far less troubled man. He’d been an idiot, all things considered, and had nothing but the fact that he’d scraped through school to speak up for him. A little bit of skill with a guitar, some experience working at his mother’s gallery. He’d believed that this was a second go at an education, that he could overcome the problems he’d had before. He’d believed their message, education and cooperation. Maybe he’d be able to control his power, sit through a school lesson and be able to actually see the paper he was supposed to be reading and writing on. He’d achieved that, and a much better set of grades than he’d ever got at school, but what else? He sat downstairs in the dorms, waiting for Fin, still trying to selfishly avoid thinking about it. What did he have, apart from his family? Other people seemed to make it all look so easy but Damien was twenty-three and had little going for him even after the year that he’d hoped would sort that problem out. He’d changed, he’d grown, but he was still lacking in any kind of prospect. He was trying to face that fact. His initial plan was sorted but beyond then he had no idea what to do. He’d fooled himself, thinking that IVI was a new start. It had just been another year to delay taking responsibility for his own future. Fin walked down the stairs two at a time, it was weird, having one last conversation with everyone, seeing everyone for one last time, being together for these last few moments. A year ago she had landed, cranky, irritable, dying for another cigarette and gone through processing and thinking that everything about this place was wrong - from the red dirt to the lack of vegetation. She hadn’t been excited about the school, she had been the opposite, but she had kept it to herself upon her arrival. She walked outside the dorms and saw Damien straight away, nudging him with her elbow when she arrived. Damien turned to smile at her, a half-hearted kind of smile as he couldn’t bring himself to do much more. He was leaning on the pair of crutches that he’d been given, ankle in plaster. “Watch it,” he told her. “You push me over and I’ll set Hailey on you,” he tried to joke, but the attempt was feeble. “How’s it going?” “I’m not worried,” Fin said. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans and looked at him. “Oh you know, just packing and doing whatever. What about you?” Packing was hard, not because she had a lot of things but mostly because that fucking mural Kody had put on her wall was still there and it was a painful reminder that Kody was gone. “Tried to. Not so easy with this,” he told her, looking down at the cast on his leg. “Me and Marty got on the internet last night and spent ages catching up with the hockey world then wished we hadn’t,” Damien chuckled shortly at their disbelief over news from the team that they were both far too invested in. He was avoiding heavier subjects once again, trying to have a normal chat with a friend while he wasn’t sure what normal was any more. “I would offer to help you pack, but I fucking hate packing so you’re on your own,” she told him. She nudged him again, unsure of what to say. She wasn’t going to see Damien or anyone but Edwin every day anymore and that was more than slightly depressing, even though she knew that would always happen when they’d left here. But in all honesty she hadn’t expected it a week ago, she’d felt like they would never leave. “Besides isn’t that what Savannah is for?” “Not when she’s got a gunshot wound on her shoulder,” Damien reminded her. And there it was, a simple mention of Savannah was enough for him to fall silent. He’d promised to stick with her, in a time when he’d believed he’d be able to do that. And he would, eventually, but the idea of breaking that promise was another thing that was weighing on his mind. He still didn’t ask Fin what her plans were, not wanting to think of hers or his. “I’m thinking of asking someone if they’ll take five useless IVI dollars for it,” he tried to joke again, suddenly breaking his silence but putting far too much effort into what was a thoroughly unfunny phrase. “Those useless IVI dollars have been turned into pounds in my bank account back home, thank you very much,” Fin told him. “I am going to use my useless IVI dollars to buy a pint upon my arrival in the UK.” “You should buy four. It’s been a while since we’ve been allowed more than three drinks,” he told her. “I’ll have to wait on that, my sister wants to come meet me at the airport. Can’t really take an eleven year-old out for a drink, can I?” “Well you could but I am not sure if the Canadian-American authorities would like that,” Fin teased him. “The sad thing is that I think if I had four drinks I would get completely pissed and that would just be embarrassing, my tolerance is shit, thanks IVI.” She wished that she would be getting a drink with Damien and Jack and whoever else once they left, but there was no use in wishing for things that she couldn’t have. Besides Leo was right, she could do whatever she wanted now, she had no obligations to anyone, so maybe eventually she would wind up closer to people even if that meant leaving Edwin. She didn’t know what the future had for her, but she did know in two days she would be touched-down on English soil. “Just Canadian,” he corrected her gently. But then something else caught his attention. “English soil?” Damien queried her words, frowning gently as he looked at her. “Change of plans?” “Edwin would not let me stay in the hostel that I booked for when I got back. But then he called me a stray cat so I’m a bit offended,” Fin said, although she wasn’t offended at all. “And I don’t think there’s a difference, except that you lot insist there is. You all have the same accent except you apologize more than Jack does.” Damien scowled, refusing to be dragged into that argument again. “I’m sure he meant it nicely. People like cats, you know?” He smiled a little once again. “And from there? Stay in England?” Fin shrugged. “I have no idea. But we’ll see, I don’t have any commitments, I have a wee bit of savings, so we’ll go from there and see what’s next. Stephen’s going to help me write my CV, so we’ll see. I’m trying to not overthink it or it makes me sick to my stomach.” His smile dropped at the mention of Stephen, still annoyed after their conversation. “Well,” he started, sounding suddenly irritated. “If you want to come to mine you can. Or I can help, you know?” He stared ahead, unable to stop thinking of his own lack of plans. “I can help with whatever.” Fin put an arm around him, sensing his annoyance and didn’t say anything for a minute. “You know that you’re going to have to put up with me sooner than later right?” She gave him a look for just a second. “I mean money is always an issue, but it’s not like I’m going to fall off the planet and not talk to you again. I mean having to separate and everyone go their own way is kind of shit, but.” She shook her head. “It’ll get better.” “Please just stop reminding me,” Damien told her, trying to shrug away her arm. “I don’t want to fucking talk about it, okay? I don’t want to think how I’m going home and I should be happy about that but I’m not. I have a home and I’m fucking lucky, but you and Stephen fucking Knight keep reminding me and I just don’t want to think about it. Okay?” Damien snapped at her, voice low. “Just don’t.” “I am going to take that crutch and beat you over the head with it,” Fin told him. “Fuck off,” he retorted, picking up the crutch and moving to stand up and walk away from her. It took a while for him to get a decent hold on the thing, not being used to it yet. “Damien, I don’t know what you want me to say? Pretend that none of this is happening, fine I’ll shut my fucking mouth,” she told him with a sigh. “Stop making attempts to try to see this in a positive light? I’m not sure what you’re looking for? Stop talking about it full stop, I can do that too much that doesn’t mean that it’s not happening.” She wasn’t sure what his problem was with it. “Leave you alone for a bit, I can do that too.” But it doesn’t change a fucking thing. “Then do it,” Damien told her. “Because I don’t need any more fucking reminders of how shit it’s going to be without all of you and that I don’t live in fucking fantasy-land where I can be with all of you straight away. You’re going to England, Hailey’s going to Tasmania. Savannah is going to be just under three-fucking-thousand miles away. I looked it up and hoped it wouldn’t be as much as I thought but no. It was. And yeah, maybe I’d like to keep my promises and be there for all of you but this is real life and it sucks. All I got from Vol Prison was a couple of decent exam grades and friendships I can’t bring myself to say goodbye to.” He glared at the floor. “And I’d be walking out of this fucking room if I didn’t have to use fucking crutches, okay? So quit it.” “This isn’t about you, what we’re all doing has nothing to do with you, Damien,” Fin said, her anger getting the best of her. “I have to take care of myself. Do you think I actually enjoy saying goodbye to everyone? That I’m like fuck it, well this was fun but guess it’s time to go home so have a good life everyone. Of course not everything is going to work out but we’re all in the same shitty situation and we all have to fucking deal with it. So stop bloody sulking and at least let people say things that think will make them feel better about all of this.” She paused and then moved to walk away. Fine if he wanted to storm out, she would just storm out for him. It was selfish, and part of him was disgusted that he was so upset over it. Other people had a greater claim to being upset. But Damien just shrugged. “Do whatever you want. I’m not talking about it,” he muttered, making no move to get her to stay. “Fuck off,” she said before going back inside the dorms and slamming the door behind her. |