finlay mccracken. (yinned) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2013-06-28 18:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! log, edwin seabeck, finlay mccracken, wilford brimley |
Who: Finlay McCracken, Edwin Seabeck, Wilford Brimley, and sort of Jack Fuller
What: Power growth in three scenes
When: Over the last few weeks - the last one is BACKDATED TO YESTERDAY
Where: All over IVI
Status: Complete
Warnings: I don't think so.
"Can I ask you a question?” Fin asked Edwin as they walked down a path by the lake. She wasn’t worried about about IVI overhearing, she was speaking softly enough and what she was going to ask him didn’t directly have to do with the VU. It was simply a question. “About your power,” she added as a clarification.
It wasn’t exactly as verboten a subject as, say, either of their pasts were, but it wasn’t one that came up often. When it did, it was usual a tangential reference to their issues with control and their mutual worry about their presence around other people. “I’ll try to answer it,” he said honestly, knowing that another thing they shared was an incomplete knowledge of their powers inner workings.
“Can you feel your power, I mean when yours is active?” Fin asked, curious. “I - can mine or at least I think I can at any rate.” It was hard to describe and something she hadn’t noticed until she lived with Myra. It wasn’t a physical feel but perhaps more of an awareness of something bubbly slightly under, something passive that could be unleashed at any moment and something she was aware of when she crossed paths with a power negator. She reasoned she hadn’t realized it before IVI because it was something that had happened slowly, to the point where she didn’t notice the feeling because it was always there.
“Parts of it,” Edwin replied awkwardly after a bit of a pause. “There are certain things that are easily tangible - migraines when I’ve built up too much and a sort of rushing force around my eyes when it releases. But triggering them is... hard to explain, and the absorption part I’m doing right now I definitely can’t. That’s why it’s taken so long to get any real control over them - it’s hard to fight something you can’t feel happening.”
“No, I understand, I - always thought that being around Myra so much made me lazy,” Fin said. “But I think I notice more now, since it was turned off so much, if that makes sense. I mean I never really felt my power before IVI, it was sort of like grasping at straws so there was a little bit of control but not like now.” She didn’t want to make Edwin feel bad about his own. “But Hunter told me that there’s a way that I can turn it off completely. And I can’t figure it out.”
Edwin didn’t feel bad at all; instead, he felt the rise of a challenge. “What does it feel like? When you expand and contract your radius of effect?” he asked interestedly.
“That I’m pushing out or pulling in,” Fin said. “But it doesn’t feel like I’m pushing out or pulling in a limited about it’s always just...” She paused and thought for the right word. “The right amount, like it will never run out but there isn’t an endless supply either.”
“Is it centered somewhere? If you were to think about pulling it in very tight - under your skin - would it be in your chest? Your head?”
“Ummm. Mind if I give a go for a second?”
Edwin stopped walking. “Go on then.”
It was more of giving up control than really ‘giving it a go’ and Fin felt her power working, careful to keep it within 5 feet or so. She closed her eyes to concentrate on how it really felt when she let the bubbles out of their carefully controlled cage. She relaxed slightly, although her arms were still tight over her chest, and she felt her power work, trying to carefully up Edwin’s only slightly before pulling it back down towards where it normally was, carefully controlled but yet still active. Even if off never happened, she was such an expert and trying to keep it level that it was no longer hard, it was instant, like a pain that you only remembered you had when you moved your arm a certain way.
“Head,” she told him after she opened her eyes.
When her eyes opened, Edwin’s sunglasses were focused on her curiously, head tilted slightly as he thought about what must be happening in him just then. “Makes sense, considering that is where our morality lives.” He gave her a brief smile, then became more thoughtful.
“Maybe it’s one of those things that’s all in your mind. If you can construct a suitable enough paradigm, you can train your brain to respond to a particular cue. Initially when I got my powers, I had no control over turning them off or on - I was basically a slave to a timetable. But that wasn’t doing me any favours, so when I’d get to the point where I’d have to release, I’d think as hard as I could about a particular trigger - in my case, a memory. Eventually, my mind saw that memory as synonymous with blowing something up. Now, you have the benefit of already having a cue to work with. You may just need to train your brain to respond to it better.”
“You mean train my brain that turning it down doesn’t mean what it think it means, but rather completely off?” Fin asked wanting to be sure that they were on the same page. “So you think my brain is confused or fucked up into thinking that what I want it to do isn’t what I want it to do?”
“Think of it like... when you were a kid and you fell over and skinned your knee versus when you do it now as an adult. When you were a kid, you’d cry. As an adult, you’d probably curse and get on with finding a plaster. Was the pain necessarily worse when you were a kid? No, you’ve just learned to deal with it in a different way. Your brain wasn’t confused or fucked up; you just learned over time to react differently.” Edwin shrugged one shoulder. “Perhaps it won’t work for you, but it might be worth a go.”
“It’s worth a try,” Fin said. It was a better theory than anything she had tried to work with recently, what she had been trying to do recently. And what she had been doing recently was just frustrating the hell out of her. “Thanks really. I mean if it works it’s brilliant.” She smirked at him a little. “But I’ll take all the credit if it does.”
“Just - don’t tell anyone that I might be able to turn it off. I don’t want them knowing.”
“Oh?” Edwin said as he resumed walking.
“What they don’t know they can’t use right? Besides, I would hate to give up my single.”
Edwin chuckled. “Let them fear your proximity.” He capped it off with a cartoon evil laugh.
Fin grinned and laughed herself. “Something like that.”
~*~
2:31
The time was unforgiving, she wasn’t sure how long she had slept or if she had drifted off at all after Jack’s rhythmic breathing had started. In the middle of the night, time was hard to keep track off. Minutes could seem like hours when you were awake and when you were asleep the seconds flew by.
She rolled over as carefully as she could to face the person next to her and debated momentarily about getting out of bed and going for a walk ultimately deciding against it. With everything going on, she didn’t want Jack to wake up alone and worry where she had gone to in the middle of the night. She let her mind wander for a bit and then it went to where the focus of most of her thoughts had been recently - her powers and what they could do.
She thought about what Hunter had told her. Off was possible, better control, being able to hone in on one person at a time. Possible yes but she had to wonder if it was truly probable. Well at least with all the extra training if it was possible she had plenty of time to work on it.
In the dark, she reached out and lightly rested her fingers on Jack's arm. She could feel his morality - a constant sense and she eased it up, down, and then back where it belonged. With certain people, she had noticed that at over time it was easier to feel where their normal was, people she had to regulate more often. It was a comfortable familiar place, with others though she sometimes had to guess because she didn’t have the familiarity of where their normal was.
This was surprisingly simple, less like throwing her foot down on the gas pedal and hoping for the result she was after. Easier to control, easier to adjust. She didn’t know if that was the key to being able to control one person at a time or not, but it was something.
There was still the question of off and other things, but trying to figure out how she was supposed to get it turn off gave her a headache. Nothing she had tried so far worked, except to further irritate her. She didn’t know how close it was to her - was it something that she was meant to be able to do eventually or something that could happen now? She had tried doing what Edwin said but nothing worked.
She glanced at the clock again - now was not the time to work herself up so she willed her body to relax, she closed her eyes and then opened them, exhaling softly. Sleep she needed sleep.
Yawning, she put her arm around Jack’s torso, closed her eyes, and tried to fall asleep.
~*~
Off, off, off, off, off, off, off.
Fin leaned back against the wall - Condor training was ending for the day but Fin had grown bored hours ago, even watching Kody and Karim argue wasn’t that interesting any more, so she had sat in the corner and tried doing what she’d been working on for weeks. It was turning it off, sure her control was good, but it wasn’t off and off was what she wanted. She’d even tried following Edwin’s advice but to no avail so far.
Off, off, off, off, off, off, off.
“How long before IVI realizes that we don’t actually do anything during training?”
Off, off, off, off, off, off, off.
Standing next to her, Wilford shrugged. A translucent globe the size of a basketball floated lazily in front of him for a few seconds more before disappearing. His own power was easy enough to turn off -- it wasn't as though he could maintain a force field indefinitely, and, he figured, no one else could either.
"Mebbe they don't give a fuck," he suggested.
“I can tell you they don’t give a fuck but with all the other shit I assumed they’d at least pretend,” Fin said. She closed her eyes for a second and willed them off and it was flickering, she could feel it, it slightly faded away before coming back and she opened an eye and made an irritated noise at herself. She knew it was possible, so why wasn’t it working.
It was the problem she’d been having ever since Hunter had told her it could go off, she wanted it off so badly that she could taste it.
Off, off, off, off, off, off, off, she willed it.
"They gern' wish they gave more fucks when Team Condor rises up and takes over the world, aye?" Wilford held one finger up, and the tiny force field re-appeared on it, spinning like a globe. His voice was light, joking. Hopefully, a bit of humor could calm Fin down, even help her with her with what she was working on. Her tension was palpable in the air next to him (or was that her power?)
“Right? It’s going to bloody late when they’re all fucked and we’re sitting in the middle of a lava moat in a forcefield. Those bastards’ll be on their own.” She felt her body relax slightly at Wilford’s joke and she watched him spin the tiny forcefield. Maybe she was thinking about this too much and Edwin was right. She had been trying his advice, but she wasn’t sure exactly how she should be thinking about it. Another way to think about it had been what he’d said.
"And you'll get 'em feelin' dead guilty, aye?" The glassy sphere slowed on its axis before disappearing, just as its predecessor had. Wilford tilted his head to look down at his teammate. On some level, he was conscious that it wasn't quite fair to flaunt in front of her how easily his powers were terminated, but their powers were so different, he couldn't imagine what it was like.
“Oh aye, they’ll regret all the things they said about us,” Fin said and then something clicked - a moment of clarity. Edwin had been right, she was thinking about it the wrong way, she had been trying to make something go away - to create a void when one couldn’t be created. What she needed to do was calm it, pacify it, deactivate it, but not make it go away. She took a deep breath and then a sense of calm overtook her and it was muted, paused, not a threat.
She smacked Wilford on the arm in her excitement.
"Aww flip!" he exclaimed, pulling his arm back instinctively. It didn't actually hurt, not when he had more than Fin's whole body weight on her, but the strike had been unexpected. "What'ya do that for?"
“I’m an abusive friend,” she told him. She glanced around to see if anyone else was watching but they weren’t. “I did it,” she said, dropping her voice. “It’s off.” She knew that it was just the beginning - she would have to play with it to see how easy it would be to go back and forth from now on, but it was a start.
"For real? No jokes?" Wilford whispered back, taking a cue from Fin. After nearly a year of trying at IVI (and who even knew how much effort before), he expected that her breakthrough would come with more fanfare. With no indication that she was pulling his leg, Wilford's face cracked into a broad grin. He held out a fist for a congratulatory bump.
“No jokes,” Fin said, her voice still inaudible for anyone who wasn’t Wilford. She gave him a fist bump and then attempted to hide her grin, but she couldn’t help it.