Who: Reagan Elizabeth and Lucy. When: 5/28; Afternoon. Where: Lucy's room. What: Discussing all things. Status/Rating: Completed Log
This was probably the most nervous Reagan had been since entering Shadow Falls. Knowing that Lucy wouldn't approve of her new job, only made it that much more scary. Reagan knew all of the reasons that she shouldn't be selling drugs and shouldn't be involved with them, but the job just paid so well. And really what else could a sixteen year old high school drop out do? They'd been a treat for Storm, something to help him while he was feeling so angry and sad at everything. They'd also been just because brownies are delicious and that meant special kind must be that much more delicious, right? Only Lucy would know the answer to that question.
Shaking slightly, Reagan made her way through the house toward Lucy's room. She could hear movement inside and stopped for a moment to take a few deep breaths before she knocked. Maybe Lucy wouldn't say anything mean; She'd promised not to get mad. And maybe she wouldn't even have to tell Lucy about her job. But the last thing she wanted was to lie to her new family. She'd done enough lying over the past year and a half. She just wanted to be honest with people now. But that meant dealing with the consequences of her actions instead of running from him. "Lucy." Reagan called out, "It's Reagan Elizabeth, can I come in?"
It was evident that Regan had made the brownies but it was Lucy's fault for eating them. She knew that much. It was more of a concern that Reagan had weed in possession. She was a smart and capable girl who didn't need to be around that stuff. Lucy wasn't a complete idiot but she'd like to think nobody in the pack had to be dependent on such substances to feel better. There were other ways to find happiness and cope with bitter emotions.
Lucy had shoved her furniture to one side of the room, leaving enough room to dance while watching SYTYCD over again. Stopping mid-spin, Lucy looked at the door. She'd promise not to get angry, but it would take a lot for the beta to get really angry. She was willing to be open-minded and listen. Mostly. "Yeah, come on in." Opening the door, she gestured the young female wolf inside with a small smile. "Uhm..there's a chair at the back if you want to sit on it."
Reagan couldn't help but to feel confused by the set up of the room. Either Lucy hated furniture or she spent a lot of time moving it around to dance. Either way, it was a little odd. Hearing the older girl's words, Reagan moved toward the back of the room to take a seat. She didn't really know what to say, and didn't want to give up any more information than what Lucy might ask for. Maybe she would only ask why she baked the brownies. And there was no way she was going to tattle on Storm like he'd tattled on her. She was nicer than that.
"What are you doing?" Reagan questioned, pulling her legs up onto the chair in front of her. "Is that the dance show you like so much?" Maybe she could just change the topic altogether and not have to talk about drugs at all. Reagan knew there was no way she could get that lucky. She stared at the tv, trying not to make eye contact with the older girl. It was bad enough that Lucy was probably already angry with her, she didn't want to see it on her face as well.
"I was dancing. I think some of the pack members might get a little annoyed when I move the furniture in the den so I just move it in here." The more space, the better. Lucy glanced over from the young girl to the tv and nodded. "Yeah...its really good. They get some ridiculous talent and yeah..just some of it is just..beyond amazing." Lucy had to stop herself. She could get really passionate about the talk of dance and Reagan was not here to talk about dance.
Lucy turned off the television and sat down infront of Reagan, crossing her legs. "So...where did you get the stuff from, how much did you pay for it, and why did you have it?"
"Oh, well as long as no one else is in there why should it matter? They can just get over it." This was good. Talk about anything except the reason she was in there. "I'm no good at dancing. I kind of do this flail thing. Basil said it's like punk dancing or something if I do that. So I guess it's a different kind of dancing. But not really. It's just me being silly and not knowing how to dance." But then the conversation changed, and Reagan knew that Lucy wasn't going to let her get away with anything.
Sinking down a bit more in her chair, Reagan let out a sigh. She still refused to look at Lucy, and instead buried her face against her legs. "I'm not paying for it and I don't even really use it that much. I've only smoked like two times and neither of the times were when I was here. So you shouldn't worry about me. I'm really okay. Really. I just made them because…" She had to think of a good way to put this, "Because I don't know. I shouldn't have left them out. I'm sorry."
Lucy didn't make much of any facial expressions. How was the girl not paying for it? Where was it coming from? The worst played through her mind. Was she using her body to get drugs? "Not worry about you? Uhm...its kinda my job to worry and even if I wasn't beta, I'd still be worried, regardless." Lucy sighed and began to tie back her hair. Was this what it was like having a teenage daughter? How her own mother went through with it, Lucy would never know.
"You still made them, and obviously they weren't intended for me. How are you not paying for the drug? Do you have more than just weed? Reagan, where is this stuff coming from? Why do you have it? I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."
There was so many questions that Reagan could hardly keep up. She knew the answers that Lucy was looking for, but she didn't really want to give them up. It was her secret. Her source of income. Her life. "I don't need any help. I don't have a drug problem or anything." She couldn't help but to laugh softly at the thought. Maybe she had a bit of a caffeine problem, but that was all. And that was concentrated to just coffee.
"I'm not paying for it because I'm not using it. You don't have to pay for nothing." She peeped up over the top of her knees to look at Lucy to see if her answers had helped. Nope, she still looked worried. "I don't use it. I won't even bring anymore here if you don't want me to." She could definitely find a place in the woods to hide her stash each night. Or just start selling it off faster. "I am nothing to worry about. I promise."
Lucy frowned and shook her head. "Stop. Stop giving me the run around. I know..I'm really nice and sometimes I'm oblivious but that doesn't mean you can keep me going in circles and think I'm just going to leave it alone." Her tone was a bit more firm and probably something Cole would have been proud to hear. "I care about you, we all do. We all want you to succeed in any endeavor but the legal kind. You are a bright and talented beautiful young girl."
Sighing once more to calm the nerves, Lucy bit her lower lip in thought. "Now tell me everything. I want to know from the beginning. When this started, what you've been having besides weed, your supplier...all of it Reagan."
As if she wasn't scared enough already, that tone definitely did it. Reagan pressed her face back against her knees and shook her head. "I already told you that I don't do drugs. I don't think it's anything to worry about Lucy. I just…" She couldn't think of any more excuses. "I just get it and then I sell it. But I don't' sell to anyone in the house. I promise." That was the truth. She didn't sell to anyone here. She gave Storm stuff, but she'd never charge him for it. "It's only been a few weeks and I wanted a job that I could do and I am good at and a job that paid me a lot. And so this is easy and fast and I'm good at it and it pays a lot." And now she was sure Lucy would be angry with her. "Please, please don't be mad. You said you wouldn't be." She reminded the beta.
Lucy's eyes widened. "You're selling this crap?!" Holding a hand up to her mouth, she refrained from yelling. She had to. Yelling got nobody nowhere. "Reagan..." Lucy was beyond mad. She was disappointed. "If you needed a job that bad, you could always ask any of us for a job. I'd let you work at the studio doing administrative work or something. Just..." Lucy shook her head. "I'm not mad. Disappointed...but not mad."
Closing her eyes and opening them slowly, she looked at Reagan. "Sweetheart...who gives you the drugs to sell?"
"But I didn't want to just live here and do nothing. And plus I…" Better to keep her mouth shut about the reason she got the job in the first place. Now there was no telling what Lucy might say about the fact she was soon to be getting a tattoo. Cole knew, that was enough. "I didn't want to bother you with it and it's not a bad job. I don't tell to babies or something. And the people that use are going to whether they buy it from me or from someone else. So I charge more and they have less to spend on drugs. It's a good idea. Trust me." Yeah, it probably wasn't a good idea, but it made perfect sense in her mind. She was taking the money for the drugs and giving them only a little. That way they had less drugs and less money to buy drugs. The best case for everyone, right?
"I just get it from someone else. He's not a bad guy either. He's really nice, actually. Don't worry about that. I don't want to get him in trouble. He's nice! He said I could use his pool." Did she mention he was nice? He was even the first vampire she met after coming to Shadow Falls. Maybe all vampires were nice though. "Don't be mad or disappointed. That's the adult way of saying you're mad."
Lucy just kept shaking her head. If Reagan had admitted she was getting a tattoo, Lucy would be in full support. Lucy would even get one with her. But this? "I don't care why you're doing it, how you're doing it, or if you think you're doing the world a great justice. You are sixteen years old who is smart as all hell and thinks her standards are only good enough to sell drugs." Lucy cut right to the point.
"And I really don't give two shits how nice he is. He's nice enough to take advantage of a young girl who obviously feels a little lost and wants to prove her worth to the pack. You know how you could help? By doing great in your studies with Cole. By finishing your school. By going to college and proving not only to us, but to yourself that you are better than drugs. And no, its not an adult way of saying I'm mad. I'm not mad. I just want you to see what we all see...of who you could be if you'd only let yourself."
Lucy reached out and touched her hand. "I need a name."
"I am going to go to college! Cole just said I have to take all of those tests first, the GED and SAT and placement exams and then maybe I can go in the fall. But I've never had a job except babysitting and that was when…" She stopped talking, hating to even think about her life back in Colorado. She wasn't that girl anymore. "And he's not taking advantage of me. He didn't ask me if I wanted to sell. He didn't go looking for someone. I saw him. I went to him. This was my choice. So why does it matter who he is. He didn't do anything wrong here." She really had initiated it all, proved to him that she could do the work.
"I don't want to stop doing this because it's probably the best job I could even get. I have no skills and no experience and it's not like I can go up to someone and write my name on an application." She hadn't even thought about that before. That she really couldn't write her name on something. There was no telling what kind of database it might show up on. And that probably meant for university too. She'd have to talk to Cole about it. "And he doesn't even have a name. Well, he probably does, but I don't know it. It's safer that way. I don't want you to be angry or disappointed in me. "
"If you initiated ALL of that, you can most definitely do anything you really wanted to. Screw applications and your inexperience. You're determined and apparently hard working if you did all that just to prove to this guy that you're good enough to sell drugs." Lucy bit back on some harsh words, not wanting to upset the girl. Lucy was upset. She was mad. But she wouldn't show it.
"Its a bit late for that love. You know you could always take up an admin job at where I work, and the ladies there are kind enough that they'll show you some human resource stuff and you can gain experience there." Lucy unfolded her legs and stood up. "I'd like you to quit, but obviously...you know what you're doing. You can either believe what I'm trying to tell you, in that you're smart and beautiful and better than ALL of that...or you can just keep trudging along. But know if you keep doing, I won't be happy about it."
Reagan frowned and mumbled softly, "You are mad at me. I knew it. And selling drugs doesn't have anything to do with being smart or stupid. It was just a job. A job to make money and not sit here all day and not be a burden on everyone here and not depend on other people and not have to be some pathetic waste of space." But she couldn't even do that right. Reagan slipped her legs down over the chair and shook her head, "I know you're disappointed in me for it. And I know you hate the job. And you're probably right, that it's not a job I should have. But…." She shook her head, it didn't matter what she said, Lucy had already made up her mind. "You don't understand. You're an adult with skills and talent and the ability to just go out and do whatever you want to do. I'm a kid with no skills, no talent, and most people look at me and think I'm too young to do anything without consent from my parents. I don't have them. I don't have a way to show who I am. I don't have a way to save money. I don't have a way to do a lot of things. And this, this job, helped. It meant I didn't have to depend on everyone for everything, because I'm tired of doing that."
"If I keep doing it, are you going to kick me out of the pack?" This new family that she'd made was the only thing she was scared of losing. If she lost them, well then what did she really have? The last year of her life had been spent searching for Storm and now that she found him, she felt like things were starting to fall into place. Until this. Until knowing that Lucy was disappointed in her and mad at her. As much as she didn't want to give up her job, she also didn't want to put her life with the pack at stake or make the others mad at her.
When Reagan spoke, it about broke the beta's heart. "I think...you've depended on yourself for far too long that if you let anyone help you, you think you're being a burden." Lucy took the girl's hand and brought her up to stand with her. "I got this talent by working my ass off...because I knew that I wasn't happy doing anything else." Lucy wrapped her arms around the girl and held onto her. "You have nothing to prove to any of us. We want to help you. We want you to succeed and if that means we gotta shell out something for it, I'd gladly do it. The day you came to our pack was the day I knew I'd love you. I'd lay down my life for yours if that's what it took to see you happy. For any of you." And Lucy would.
"Are you kidding me!? And be the only girl left in this pack? You're insane." Lucy smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Reagan Elizabeth, I love you like my own blood. I'm not okay with it because...I don't know who is supplying you with such things, I don't know who is buying this stuff from you. Anything can happen to you. Its a town full of vampires, not to mention we have an enemy pack that would love to get their teeth sunken into our necks. Not that they could...because we're badass like that..but still. I worry, and I will continue to worry about you and everyone else in this pack till my dying day. Just think about it. There's more to you than you're willing to see."
Reagan wasn't going to cry, and she kept repeating those words to herself like a mantra. She leaned into Lucy's hug and let out a soft sigh. "I don't want you to shell out money for me. I don't have anything that costs money that I want to do anyway, except college and science things." But those things were mostly just books she could check out from the library anyway. "Maybe you can bite more girls and make more wolves." She tried to joke, but it fell flat, even on her. "But don't really. No one else needs to be a wolf. It's a shitty life." Reagan slipped her arms around Lucy and hugged her back for a moment before pulling away and looking into her eyes. She still hadn't decided whether she was going to quit or not, but she'd at least think about it.
"The guy I get my stuff from, he's a vampire. But he's a nice one. The first time I met him, I asked if he was a vampire. He was the first vampire I met. Maybe the only one so far. And also, the other day I met a wolf." This, she probably shouldn't be telling anyone. "He was from the other pack but he was really nice. Maybe they're not all mean. Also he said things, I didn't really understand everything he was talking about, but he was nice and he said the pack was nice too. Don't worry, I'm not thinking about going to their pack because I could never leave this one. But also, maybe they're not all evil?" She was a little more trusting than she wanted herself to believe. She tried to push people away, but at the end of the day, she just wanted someone who cared about her for who she was.
Lucy laughed softly and held onto the girl tight. "Yeah, make an all girl pack. That'll go over well." Lucy could understand it was a shitty life. Hell, she lived it. "It is shitty, which is probably why I hold onto my dancing and this pack. You guys actually make me feel normal and sometimes I forget what I actually am. Like I said, you find what makes you happy and you hold onto it."
A vampire. Just the word make her think of Herrick and how he attacked and threatened her friends. It was enough to make her hackles stand up. "Not all of the vampires are so nice. One attacked my friend because he could. Because he liked it." And then he had the balls to threaten her. Like Lucy wouldn't go down without a fight. Pfft. And then she heard about the wolf Reagan spoke to from the other pack. "Fenris? Don't let them fool you. Our pack was infiltrated by one. They beat both girls bloody because they could. They run their pack differently from us. Where we try to hold onto our humanity, they embrace the wolf. I don't trust them and that's saying something."
"Oh…" Reagan frowned, "I thought.. I mean.." She was beginning to think that maybe vampires were like her pack. Maybe they didn't want to be, they just were. And maybe they were nice. "I don't know much about vampires really. I thought maybe they weren't so bad. Like us, ya know? Storm said something about claiming the other day and that's really weird. But this guy, he seemed really nice. Except that he said I couldn't come into his club without an ID and he wouldn't give me free alcohol. How rude. Maybe you two can be non-alcohol giving friends." She laughed, scrunching her nose at Lucy.
"The other pack beat wolves up?!" Her eyes went wide and she tried to imagine for a moment ever hurting another wolf. Wasn't it bad enough that they were wolves? Why would they beat up each other? "I guess Storm and Cole were right when they said the other pack was evil. "Why would anyone want to join an evil pack. I don't get it." The young girl tried hard to pretend that most people were inherently nice. She'd learned better not long after running away, but she couldn't help but to hope that at least most people were good and cared for each other.
"I think all vampires are different. You have your good ones, you have your bad ones, just like wolves. But...I'd still keep my guard up around them." She was surprised to hear that the man refused to let Reagan into his club or offer alcohol, which seemed odd to her. It didn't matter to Lucy. The man had employed a young girl to sell drugs for him, that was enough to set Lucy off. "Perhaps. The claiming thing...a vampire puts a bracelet on you and you are theirs. Apparently they can make you do whatever but no other vampire can harm you...but they can do to you as they please. And if anyone puts a bracelet on you, think of it as a dog with a collar...you don't want that." Or at least Lucy didn't.
"Yeah...I don't even want to go into their mindset of why they do what they do, but they have no problem biting people and inflicting them with our..condition." She gave a shrug and one more big hug to the young girl. "But just think about what I've said. You have a couple days to think, ask and talk to people around here okay? Just know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what."
Reagan let out a sigh and nodded, "Okay. I will be careful I promise. Around vampires and wolves and I will think about working. I just don't like being cooped up all day. And my job right now keeps me outside. And I don't like sitting around doing busy work all day. I want something that's at least a little bit fun. But I don't want to be around a lot of people because what if I get angry and then change or something. It's a lot of work to find the perfect job." Reaching out and wrapping her arms tightly around Lucy, Reagan held the girl close for a few long moments. It was nice having another girl around. Someone who kind of partially understood.
"Thank you for everything Lucy. I'm sorry I disappointed you though. I just want you to be proud but I also want to make a lot of money and swim in a tub full of money." She snickered, but honestly that was a dream of hers. H had asked about swimming in a pool full of money, and while that sounded even more fun she was fairly sure she'd never have that much. "I love you, Lucy. Can I ask you a question about boys?"
Lucy smiled and nodded. "That's all I ask for. And its okay, you're only 16. You don't need the perfect job now...because nobody wants the perfect JOB...they just want the perfect career. Something you're passionate about and happy to do every single day." Lucy nuzzled in the girl's hair before planting a kiss on her forehead. "You don't need to thank me for what is expected love. Its fine. These are your decisions and it is all part of growing up. You're going to make your mistakes and the most I'm going to be able to do is lend that helping hand when you need help getting up." Lucy's smile brightened as Reagan told her she loved her. "I love you too, Reagan Elizabeth, so very much." And then she was blindsided. "Boys? I...oh boy. Uhm...sure."
Like Lucy was good with boys?
"It's okay, Luc." She laughed at the older girl's reaction to her question. "It's not a serious thing or something. I'm not going to ask you where babies come from or something super awkward. Unless you want to explain it because I bet you'd be hilarious." Reagan flashed her a grin, "It's just. I was wondering how you make a boy like you. Say, if you say you like a boy and he says that he only likes you as a friend. How do you make him like you as more than a friend and less as just a friend." That ramble probably made little sense, but the whole situation made little sense to the girl. Boys were confusing and difficult! But also they were cute and great snuggle buddies. She had only ever had one boyfriend and that was something not so serious. It had also ended horribly so it wasn't something she wanted to relive. Maybe Lucy had a bit more experience than she did.
How...to make a boy...like her. Oh boy was right. Lucy's eyes went a little wide. She wasn't about to tell Reagan she was too young to date. She wasn't her mother and in all honesty, was kind of relieved that Reagan had interests. "Uhm..." but to make a boy like her? "I don't think there is a way to make anyone do anything, love. Either they're going to or not. I don't have..a lot of experience but I do know that if a guy wanted me to like them, I can't be forced to like them...it just happens." It probably wasn't the best answer she could give, but it was honest. "So if he only likes you as a friend, the best thing you could do is be his friend back. Maybe in time, he'll start to see you differently. Be his friend, be your beautiful self and see what happens."
"I was afraid you'd say that." She sighed and pouted at Lucy. "There has to be a better way though. Like a magic potion or something." Hey, if Vampires and Werewolves were real, why not love potions. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Maybe Lucy had a boyfriend with a younger brother, someone closer to her age, that would want to go on a date with her. He didn't have to be her boyfriend, but one date would be nice! "I think boys are just a pain sometimes. Don't you? It would be easier if they were normal. But they're not. They're like… a different species or something." The young girl sighed dramatically, trying to hold back another giggle. "So now will you explain the birds and the bees to me?"
"If it as THAT easy, I'd be married to a celebrity by now." Lucy scoffed and smiled, ruffling the girl's hair, then stopped. Did she have a boyfriend? Well there was Basil but he hadn't asked her out, he only asked her on a date, and then there was a kiss. "Uhm..." She frowned. "I like someone but I don't think we have the title?" Lucy had to agree that it was all slightly confusing. "Oh no way. I am not explaining the birds and bees, you can save that convo for Duncan or Cole. Or both. Both is good."