mods (roadmaps) wrote in insane_games, @ 2011-03-09 22:23:00 |
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BACK THE FUCK UP. ARE THERE RPERS WHO ACTUALLY AREN'T AT roadmaps YET? WELL, THANK CHRIST BECAUSE IT WOULD BE LIKE CHRISTMAS TO GET SOME OF OUR NEEDS FILLED. SERIOUSLY. WE WANT THESE CHARACTERS SO BAD. |
1) RITA MOTHERFUCKING SKEETER. SHE WHIPS HER QUILL BACK AND FORTH, SHE WHIPS HER QUILL BACK AND FORTH. SERIOUSLY, THIS BITCH WOULD BE FANTASTIC BECAUSE SHE'D STIR SOME SHIT UP, HAVE TONS OF POTENTIAL IN GAME RELATIONSHIPS (AN AUROR SISTER, OTHER PROPHET WORKERS, ETC), AND SHE'S RITA MOTHERFUCKIN' SKEETER. 2) GILDEROY LOCKHART. WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO PLAY HIM? HIS BRILLIANCE IS ALMOST AS BLINDING AS HIS PERFECT TEETH. EVEN THOUGH HE WOULD GET YOU KILLED ABROAD (CAN YOU SAY SHENANIGANS?), THIS MAN IS A FUCKING NATIONAL TREASURE. HE'S LIKE WHAT YOU'D GET IF YOU MIXED A VEELA, LADY GAGA, UNICORNS, AND BARACK OBAMA TOGETHER. 3) RODOLPHUS MOTHERFUCKING LESTRANGE. HE'S GOT A CRAZYASS DANGERSEXY WIFE WAITING ON HIM AND HE'S A DEATH EATER. BITCHES LOVE DEATH EATERS. RODOLPHUS HAS LOTS OF POTENTIAL MIDDLE AGED DEATH EATER FRIENDS IN GAME (WHICH WE COULD ALWAYS USE MORE OF) LIKE TRAVERS. THAT'S AT LEAST ONE FRIEND, WHICH IS MORE THAN ALECTO WILL EVER HAVE BECAUSE SHE'S TOO BUSY HUNTING ALPACAS OR WHATEVER TEENAGE GIRLS DO. Oh. And we suppose Rabastan might be nice to have as well. But he's just not as cool as his older brother. 4) MINERVA MCGONAGALL. CHECK OUT THIS CLASSY HBIC RIGHT HERE. SHE WILL KICK YOUR ASS AND SHE WON'T EVEN SPILL HER TEA. 5) KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. HE'S ONE FINE ASS KICKING FUTURE MINISTER MOTHERFUCKING SPECIMEN OF MAN. AND HE'S OPEN? IT MUST BE YOUR LUCKY FUCKING DAY. YOU CAN PLAY HIM AS A MINISTRY EMPLOYEE WHO ENDS UP INVOLVED WITH THE ORDER. THAT AMOUNT OF POTENTIAL MORAL CONFLICT BRINGS ALL THE RPERS TO THE YARD. 6) RABASTAN, AVERY, & MULCIBER JR. WILKES, SNAPE, NARCISSA, AND THE ROSIERS NEED FRIENDS THEIR AGE. ESPECIALLY WILKES AND NARCISSA. THOSE FUCKERS KEEP HANGING OUT WITH KIDS YEARS UNDER THEM AND THAT'S JUST SAD. AND POSSIBLY ILLEGAL. 7) VOLDEMORT'S INNER CIRCLE. WHY ISN'T ANYONE PLAYING ALL THESE GODDAMN OLDER DEATH EATERS? DOLOHOV AND NOTT NEED SOME FRIENDS. DON'T YOU KNOW THOSE GUYS ARE SOME GQ MOTHERFUCKERS? THEY'D BE IN CHARGE LIKE GODDAMNED BOSSES. "BUT THEY'RE OLD!" SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, FOOL. THEY MAY BE OLD, BUT THEY WILL SCHOOL YOUR ASS. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS OLD? JEREMY IRONS, SEAN CONNERY, MICHAEL CAINE, ANDERSON COOPER, ANTHONY BOURDAIN, MAGNUS ANDERBERG, JESS JOSLIN, TIM GUNN, GABRIEL BYRNE, AND LIAM NEESON! YOU COULD USE THEM AS PBS. SO SUCK IT. 8) DAWLISH, PROUDFOOT, WILLIAMSON. LOOK AT THESE SEXYASS AURORS. THEY'RE THE LAW. THEY'LL BE ARRESTING BITCHES AND GETTING CAUGHT UP IN TERRORIST ORGANIZATIONS AND RIDING LETHIFOLDS OR SOMETHING ELSE BADASS. 9) MARLENE FREAKING MCKINNON. LOOK AT THIS SEXY BADASS WITCH. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE BY VOLDEMORT BUT SHE WAS LIKE "FUCK THAT NOISE!" AND SHE DIDN'T. ALSO? YOU CAN PLAY HER AS ALASTOR MOODY'S COUSIN. THAT'S BETTER THAN BEING RELATED TO A MOTHERFUCKING PIRATE. 10) HESTIA JONES, EMMELINE VANCE. LISTEN UP, BITCHES! ORDER NEEDS SOME WOMEN UP IN THE HOUSE. THESE SEXY LADIES ARE LIKE THE MOTHERFUCKING CHARLIE'S ANGELS OF THE ORDER, SO WHY THE FUCK AREN'T THEY HERE YET? DON'T YOU WANT TO KICK SOME DEATH EATER ASS? HURRY UP BEFORE SOMEONE STEALS THEM. AND THEY WILL, BECAUSE THESE GIRLS ARE STRAIGHT UP FLY. |