Blaise
I love you too. I feel it when you say it, you're not one for saying things you don't mean. And I can see it in your face when you do. I am glad to hear it, they're...they're how I know how love exists, and it's where I see myself fit in among the family. I want them to get to know you, and see how much it is you mean to me just as much as I want you to get to know them.
They already have been. I'm very lucky to have them. You're trying, that's all that matters. Blaise, I'm thrilled you don't know what this is like. Because it's hell. I hate this, I hate this so much, and I don't say I hate anything. I hate that I'm constantly doubting myself and all I want to do is scream and cry and hide in a wardrobe. I'm so tired of being scared but I don't know how to stop sometimes. But even when you're being short or incredulous, you're still there, and you haven't given up on me. And you're trying so hard to not just help but understand. And I love you so damn much for it.