lena @ infinitus (lenabee) wrote in ini_lawki, @ 2013-01-09 11:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | c: julia campbell, c: owen walker, l: brookshore, p: cindy, p: lena, r: pg, s: complete |
Who: Julia Campbell & Owen Walker.
When: TBA; after she comes home.
Where: Owens apartment.
What: Reunion: Awks and a little kissing.
Rating: PG.
Status: Complete
Jules was nervous. Maybe she shouldn't be, but she was afraid she'd screwed it all up again with Owen by ending things when she'd gotten the tour. She'd thought it would make things easier, but it hadn't. Not really. She'd still missed him so much, but she'd been afraid to call, afraid it was going to be like before and that he wouldn't want to talk to her. That seemed to be their pattern, after all. She broke up with him and he stopped wanting her in his life. She was kicking herself, now, for doing this. Long distance relationships were hard, but she'd let her fear of trying that again control her and now she was afraid she'd lost him forever because of it. Which is why it had taken her so long to find herself here, on his doorstep, even after she'd come home from the tour. What if he did hate her? Coming over here and knocking on his door meant she would have to really find out and a part of her was terrified. A part of her wanting to keep on not knowing, because as long as she stayed away, she could keep a glimmer of hope alive that he still loved her, despite what an idiot she'd been. In the end, though, she couldn't hide forever and that knowledge had here standing here, her hand raised to knock on his door. It was the middle of the day and she knew that meant Lydia would be in class, so she hoped that meant Owen would be alone. This would be so much easier to do without an audience, however it turned out. Owen certainly wasn't the happiest person about what happened between them. But he also hadn't fallen apart like he had the last time. He had Lydia now and he couldn't do that to her. He wanted her to know that she had one person she could count on always so he wasn't going to let it show visibly how disappointed and upset he'd been about the turn of events that had taken place. Saying goodbye to Jules for a second time had been excruciating. He certainly wasn't a fan but he couldn't stop her. This was what she wanted to do, this was a path she wanted to follow. He knew he couldn't stop her. Otherwise in the end she'd resent him and them. He hadn't kept up with when the tour was or where she was going or when it would end. He hadn't been expecting anyone, especially not with the twins off at class. Owen set his coffee cup down on his counter and made his way to his door. When he opened his door to see Jules standing there...it was an understatement to say that he was shocked and surprised. "What are you doing here?" Clearly a poor choice for his first words spoken to her since they'd seen each other last. His tone wasn't harsh or mean...he was just confused. Jules was incredibly nervous standing on his doorstep and his reaction did nothing to ease her fears. True, there was no malice in his tone, but it wasn't exactly the reunion she was looking for, either. Then again, it had probably been incredibly stupid and naive to hope he would just pull her into his arms and tell her how much he'd missed her. "Um, nothing, I don't know. I'm sorry. I should have called." It was insane, but his words made her nerves double and she felt amazingly awkward and stupid. Standing there like an idiot, wanting some clue as to... something, it felt really idiotic and pointless and maybe that reaction meant he didn't miss her, that he wasn't at all happy to see her. A part of her wanted to turn around or sink into the floor or.. anything other than stand here, but she seemed to be rooted to the spot, unable to move. It was taking every ounce of willpower that Owen had to keep him rooted in the spot where he was. He wanted nothing more than to close the distance and crush his lips against her. They were good at falling back into the past but Owen didn't want this to keep being a pattern for them. "I just...I didn't know your tour ended," Owen explained, his tone somewhat softer. He was hoping to diffuse the awkward tension that seemed to fill this moment. His head and his heart were definitely not in agreement at the moment. His head was being stubborn and telling him to be cautious and think before making any decisions. Where as his heart was pushing for him to pull her towards him. His heart would have won out if his brain wasn't telling him that she could very well be with someone now and she merely stopped by to say hello. "I wasn't expecting to see you is all," he added. To be honest, that would have been a much more welcome reaction. Anything that made it seem like he'd missed her would have been nice. It felt awkward, standing here like this, but Jules didn't want to make the first move. She was afraid to. "Oh." She didn't know what else to say. She felt like coming here had been dumb and maybe she should have stayed away. "I didn't know if you'd want to see me," she admitted. Maybe she should know better, but she was having the same thoughts about him right now. He could very well be with someone else. He could very well have decided he didn't want to be with her anymore. She just didn't know what to think. As much as Owen would hate to admit it, he always wanted to see Jules. He was pretty sure he would always want to see her. For him, he'd decided years ago that she was the person he wanted to spend his life with. Unfortunately for him, he was still waiting for her to come to that realization. "Of course I'd want to," he responded, avoiding eye contact. It had definitely hurt when she left but he knew he couldn't stand in her way of her dreams either. She'd wind up hating him or resenting him in the end. This was awkward and strained and he hated it. He missed them and how close they were and the time when he could tell her absolutely everything. "Do you...if you want to come in I just made a fresh pot of coffee..." Owen suggested tentatively. He wasn't sure what they were at the moment and that was making this difficult. Not knowing what she wanted, why she was here...that was also making this conversation harder. Jules was glad when he said he'd want to see her, but she tried not to make too much of the comment. He wasn't even looking her in the eye. Did he really mean it? Was he just saying it to be nice. It all felt so awkward and she wanted to make an excuse and just get away from that, but she found herself nodding when he asked if she wanted to come in. "Okay." She was here because she'd missed him. She was here because she loved him. She was afraid to say any of that out loud, though. He let her pass by and shut the door behind her. He was happy to have her back, to have her here. He really was. Jules was the one person that he loved, that he wanted to marry, to love forever. But she kept disappearing...things kept happening. It was like they were always in different areas of life. Owen got her a cup even though he knew she knew where it was. He made them both a cup of coffee and he handed her her cup. "So how was the tour?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation going. Maybe, it wouldn't be awkward if they talked more. Jules wasn't sure if she believed in fate. Sometimes she did. A part of her had wondered about it when Owen had come back into her life, but the bigger part of her was afraid in to trust in something bigger, something out of her control. Still a bigger part of her was afraid to trust herself. If she let things get too serious, if she hurt him again, she wasn't sure she could live with that. The downside was, of course, that she was breaking her own heart in the process. She missed him. She ached for him. She was just too stubborn and stupid and scared to make the first move. Their fingers brushed together as he handed her the cup of coffee and she felt the jolt of electricity run down her spine and into her toes at even that simple touch. "Thank you," she murmured, smiling gratefully at him. If nothing else, she had something to hold, to curb the desire for nervous fidgets while they talked. Maybe it wouldn't be so obvious how awkward she felt now. "It was good," she nodded and smiled. "I missed home, though." Him. She'd missed him. She couldn't let herself say that out loud, though. It wouldn't be fair. She'd chosen the tour. She'd left. She didn't have a right to missing him when this was all her fault to begin with. He felt it too as their fingers brushed. That simple contact made everything he'd been trying to repress vivid and real. He'd missed her a lot. "I'm glad it was good," Owen told her and he meant it. He didn't want to hold her back or be the person that caused her not to follow her dreams. Had he not had Lydia in his life, he'd have gone with her in a heartbeat. But he had Lydia and now Meghan and they had to come first. He had gotten lost in her smile, the touch. "Home has something about it," he agreed, with a slight grin. "I think it's kind of nice to have you back," Owen finally said. No matter what, no matter how many times she left or what she did...Owen was certain he'd never fall out of love with the girl standing before him. There was something about his smile, his words that warmed Jules through to her toes and her fingertips in a way the coffee she was slowly sipping at couldn't possibly do. She tried to keep her wits about her, but she couldn't help it. Her smile grew a little bit as he said it was nice to have her back. "It's nice to be back," she said. She kept her tone normal, casual, but there was an extra warmth to her smile as she pulled the coffee cup once more to her lips, sipping again as a method to keeping herself from adding anything deeply stupid to that. Again, she reminded herself that she had no right to the thoughts in her head - missing him, wishing she'd done things differently with them. Just because he said it was nice to have her back didn't mean that she had a right to want it to mean more than it probably did. It was extremely nice. To have her standing there only a few feet from him...in his kitchen. This is what he missed. "So...are you sticking around for awhile?" Owen asked, bringing his gaze to hers. If he was going to do anything...he wanted to know that she was staying, that she was sticking around. He'd missed her terribly and having her so close now made him realize exactly how much. She was also looking incredible and he was finding it hard to not cross the distance and kiss her. He was also running out of reasons in his head not to kiss her. If she was leaving again, well that was one reason he could listen too. "Yeah... awhile." The tour was over and she'd be working in the studio for awhile, writing and recording and things of that nature before it would be time to head out on tour again. That meant hanging around LA for at least the foreseeable future, although she'd be leaving again eventually. "They want me to record an album, so I'll be putting in a lot of studio time," she added, explaining. She was almost afraid to meet his gaze, afraid of all the emotions that would come flooding back as she did. It was insane how she could be standing here with him and feel like she was 16 again. The last time had come up suddenly and after his botched marriage proposal. Part of Owen couldn't help but wonder if she was trying to get as far away from him as possible. Not to mention it was Lydia's first year at school. Things had been rough with his brother medically and taking over the business and it had just been all so much. If they were together the next time, it wouldn't be a big deal. At least he didn't think so. "Well I'm glad you'll be around for awhile," he told her with a smile. Owen set his coffee cup down on his counter and took a few steps towards her. He wanted to hug her, to kiss her so badly. He was just barely restraining himself. Moving closer to her was probably not going to help that urge at all but he couldn't be so far from her. The closer he got, he could smell the shampoo she always used. A smell he missed when she wasn't with him. That had been all it took for him to close the minimal distance between them. Owen placed a hand under her chin urging her to look at him. "I've missed you," he whispered, just centimeters from her lips. If Jules was going to be completely honest about everything, the tour had been a good excuse to run away. Owen had proposed and she had freaked out, not ready to take that step and not sure how to just go back to normal after she'd said no and seen that look on his face as she'd turned him down. He'd said it was fine, of course, but she felt guilty for hurting him. It seemed like she was really good at doing that and she hated it so much. She knew she should just let it go, let it be over so she could stop hurting him, but she couldn't walk away and she couldn't help but melt a little when he said he was glad she'd be around for awhile. "Me, too," she whispered as he closed the distance and told her he'd missed her. Their gazes met and her breath caught at she stared at him, utterly powerless to pull away. She should, but she didn't want to and a heartbeat later, she was closing that last bit of distance to press her lips to his. Owen didn't want it to be over. He never wanted them to be over. He knew he was and would forever be in love with Jules. Anytime they were at odds or fighting, Owen hated it. But he also knew that he'd rather be fighting with her than anything with anybody else. Jules was it for him. He knew that back in high school. God, he missed her! Definitely missed kissing her, too. His lips pressed against hers as his arms wrapped around her frame. He pulled her towards him as his lips worked over hers. He couldn't tell you how long they stood there like that before he finally pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. "I definitely missed that," he told her, grinning. Jules didn't want it to be over, either, but she felt like that was a selfish desire. After everything she'd put him through and with no guarantee they wouldn't just have to go through it all again. What about the next tour, the next.. whatever? Jules couldn't make any promises and know she'd be able to keep them, but she felt like she owed him that much, at least. That all went out the window as their lips met, though, and Jules was focused entirely on how good it felt to be in his arms. The kiss seemed to go on forever. At the same time, it seemed to be over in an instant. "Me, too," she murmured breathlessly, her forehead leaned against his as she struggled to gather her wits again. |