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Lily Luna Potter (the_lily_luna) wrote in indarkness_logs,
@ 2010-10-20 22:24:00

Entry tags:

!complete, 2032 10, john allerdyce, lily luna potter

RP: It wasn't fair
Characters: LilyLu, John
Time/Date: Late night, October 20
Location: old!island, rec area
Warnings/Rating: her mouth, angst
Summary: Lily reacts
Status: Complete

Just last night. Just last night they'd been screwing around over the network with Hugo, and this morning she was supposed to believe her cousin was dead? That Severus, her grandmother, that all the others were dead? Dead, mauled by bears they'd accidentally sent to the new place? It was bullshit. Complete bullshit.

She'd watched the video once through but didn't have the stomach to watch it more than that. To see her grandmother torn up. To see Snape messed up like that. To see Lizzy, barely attached. To see a brief shot of Hugo's blank, dead eyes when the camera crossed his face.

After watching it, she'd cried herself sick in the shower, wanting to hide that part away from John. She'd retreated to her room and kept the door locked. She'd briefly checked in on Tristan, but he was concerned about the moon. Not that he wasn't concerned about the island, the deaths, but the moon was a more immediate concern. She knew that. If he and Remus weren't taken care of, there would be more casualties added to the list.

It just ... sucked all around.

She'd skipped dinner because she hadn't been inclined to deal with people. She had a frozen pizza in her room, and while it wasn't the best dinner she'd ever had, it was something. After that, she was at a loss and kind of missing John, but rather than do the logical thing and go to his (well, their, kind of) room, she instead retreated to the rec area.

Lily popped in a couple of comedies and flopped herself on the couch. She doubted she'd laugh, but it was something to try to keep her mind off the fact that ... her cousin was dead. Her cousin. Her grandmother. People she knew. She'd talked to. They were ... dead. It was almost impossible for her to completely wrap her mind around. They couldn't be dead. Not like that.

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down_in_flames
2010-10-21 06:15 am UTC (link)

John was at a loss.

He didn't have strong ties to anyone who had died on the other island. He'd watched movies and hung out with Hugo when Lily was inclined, spoke to a couple others on the network once or twice, but that was pretty much it. Obviously, that wasn't the case for Lily and he didn't know what he was supposed to do or say about it.

Gee, I'm sorry your cousin and grandmother are dead? That really sucks? This whole situation made him feel like he was preparing to open his mouth really wide before shoving his entire foot into it. He'd given her space because that was how he usually liked to deal with things, but he didn't know how much space to give. Should he let her come to him? Go after her? If he did go after her, he was back to not knowing what to say.

Feeling restless and uncertain, he decided to just go see what was going on in the rec room. All right, he was definitely looking for her, but he wasn't sure he would admit that if asked. When he found her, he wasn't sure whether it should be surprising or not that she was watching comedies. He guessed it made sense, though, to try to take her mind off things.

"There room here for one more?" He asked as he leaned against the back of the couch she was on, peering down at her.

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the_lily_luna
2010-10-21 01:58 pm UTC (link)

There were jokes she could've made, things she could've said to be funny (or to try to be). She should have teased him, asked where he'd been all day, tell him there was room for one more but not him.

Instead, she just drew her feet up, knees bending to make a place for him on the end of the couch. She figured she was lucky; John probably wasn't going to want to talk about it, so he wasn't going to push her to talk about it, because she didn't want to talk about it yet.

The rage had passed and the sorrow had settled in. It wasn't an emotion she wore well, and she didn't think it would linger long, but while it was here, it was driving all other thoughts from her.

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down_in_flames
2010-10-21 05:24 pm UTC (link)

John circled around the couch and settled onto the seat she had opened up for him. He furrowed his brow briefly as he glanced towards the tv and then to her then back to the tv. He didn't really want to talk about it, but if she did he would listen.

He was pretty sure she would just start talking about it if she wanted to, though.

"You hungry or anything?" He settled on asking, half to fill the silence and half because he wasn't sure she had eaten today since she'd been making herself scarce. Some people didn't eat when they were sad, right? Damn, he needed a how to deal with sad girls handbook or something.

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the_lily_luna
2010-10-21 05:49 pm UTC (link)

Lily settled her calves across his lap after he sat down, and she shook her head. "There was a pizza in my freezer. I had that for dinner." Which wasn't an aswer to whether or not she was hungry, but assurance that she'd eaten something. It was touching that he cared about the mundane things, and she managed to smile, though she didn't pull her eyes from the TV.

She felt the inside of her nose stinging again, a sure sign she was about to cry again. She exhaled softly to try to chase off the feeling. Lily also felt the vague urge to apologize to him for taking off, but words really weren't flowing tonight.

Besides, it wasn't like she hadn't had a perfectly valid, justifiable reason to spend the day by herself. "You can ... change the movies if you want," she said. It wasn't like she was actually following the plot. She was just ... watching the actors and letting the dialogue drift through her ears.

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down_in_flames
2010-10-22 02:25 am UTC (link)

He placed his hands on her legs, massaging her calves since they were there and it was something to do with his hands. While he was glad she had eaten something, he wouldn't have minded fetching her something just so he could feel useful.

"Nah, I like this one," he replied, though after speaking he realized that would have been something he could have done, but he didn't want to change the movies she had picked, even if she wasn't really watching. He assumed there had been a reason she picked them, after all.

He briefly bit the inside of his cheek before glancing over at her and looking vaguely uncomfortable. "Tell me if there's something I should be doing, all right? I mean, if you just want to just chill that's cool, I just... don't know if there's something specific I'm supposed to do."

He furrowed his brow, mostly at himself. He had no problem at all just sitting with her, watching the movie, but if she wanted to talk about it and was waiting for him to ask, he didn't want to get in trouble for being insensitive or something.

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the_lily_luna
2010-10-22 02:40 am UTC (link)

Conversation seemed impossibly hard. Asking if he'd seen it before had crossed her mind, but opening her mouth and speaking the words just seemed ... impossible.

She shook her head when John went on about what he was supposed to do. Brown eyes shifted to him, and she reached out one hand. She clearly wasn't good company yet, and she tried to smile but her lips quivered.

"He was my favorite cousin," she said softly, the words catching in her throat. "I mean ... not ... like I had a ranking or anything, and Meg was my best friend, but Hugo was ... I mean ...."

She caught her lower lip between her teeth, biting down on it as it quivered. "He was family, and ... it ... to die like that. Alone and mauled by a bear ... and ... it's ... and they try to pretend it's an accident, like they didn't fucking do it on purpose, knowing ..." Lily swallowed hard and stared at the TV. "They knew what would happen. What ... the bears would do when they didn't find their fucking armor.

"And then they had to show us the bodies because they're sadistic fucking assholes."

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down_in_flames
2010-10-22 05:17 am UTC (link)

John took her hand and before he could tell her she really didn't have to say anything -- he didn't mind silence between them as long as he knew he wasn't going to upset her by not filling it in this case -- she started talking about what had happened and looking all sad. He felt a brief rise of panic, but he was pretty sure she wasn't really expecting too much out of him, as far as magically knowing the right things to say.

He thought getting killed by a bear might at least have been a quick death, but he didn't really know so he kept that to himself.

"They're fucked up," he agreed with a shake of his head. "I think one day they're going to slip up, though, and ... they'll get what's coming to them. I hope it's not quick, either, when someone finally manages to kill them."

While he was aware that maybe they would just continue to be sadists and torture people without ever facing consequences for it, it made him feel better to believe that one day they'd all meet painful, bloody ends.

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the_lily_luna
2010-10-22 05:30 am UTC (link)

"Someone shot one of them once," Lily offered. "So I heard. Jaime said Spike did ... didn't ... manage to kill him or anything, but ... I guess they got more careful after that." She shrugged. It didn't mean they wouldn't screw up at some point in the future ... but it meant the captives would have to react quickly to any potential screw ups.

She glanced up to John. "You don't ... have to hang out with me if I'm too much of a downer." She poked his chest with her toes before dropping her leg back to his lap.

"Be nice, if ... we could get one of them. Maybe give them to a bear and see how they like it," she muttered bitterly.

Her eyes shifted back to the TV before she swung her legs out of his lap. She shifted around and laid down again with her head resting in his lap, one arm curled around his thigh. She didn't really think he'd take the out, but she'd let him if he wanted to.

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down_in_flames
2010-10-22 05:02 pm UTC (link)

He smirked lightly, but he didn't mind hanging out with her. She wasn't crying all over him and honestly, even if she was, he probably wouldn't have made a run for it. He wasn't looking too closely at why that was, right now.

"Yeah. It would be nice," he agreed, relaxing back against the couch as she settled into the comfortably familiar movie watching position with her head on his lap. "Wouldn't mind setting one on fire, too," he added with a half grin, kind of making fun of himself and his fire obsession, but mostly it was true. He wouldn't hesitate to set any of those fuckers aflame.

He smoothed a hand through her hair before gazing towards the television, content to talk or not talk as she saw fit.

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the_lily_luna
2010-10-22 06:12 pm UTC (link)

"You and your fire," Lily said, trying to pull off a tease but probably falling flat. Well, it wasn't like anyone'd expect real jokes out of her today, right? She lapsed into silence, occasionally rubbing her thumb against John's knee or queezing his lower thigh as she watched the movie.

If she hadn't seen it before, she wouldn't have been able to follow it, and would have had no idea what the plot was. The jokes fell flat to her ears, and she figured she should probably just ... try to sleep or something.

When the movie was over, she clicked it off and glanced up to John. "Think I'm going to go to bed. If I go to yours, promise not to molest me?" She managed a slight smile, but the intent was genuine. She really, really didn't feel like doing anything naked tonight.

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down_in_flames
2010-10-22 09:20 pm UTC (link)

"Well, it'll be tough," he quipped wryly before going on to assure her, "but I can manage, yeah."

He also managed not to suggest that fucking might make her feel better. He thought he'd be disturbed if she randomly started crying in the middle of it and even he knew that sometimes sex wasn't the answer. He was pretty sure joking about sex wasn't the answer either so he kept his mouth shut in that regard.

"I'll head up with you," he decided, not really feeling like watching another movie by himself.

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the_lily_luna
2010-10-22 09:24 pm UTC (link)

"'kay," she agreed when he said he'd go up with her. It took her another moment before she managed to get herself off the couch, and she stood still for a moment more as she got her bearings.

She knew she'd just asked him not to molest her, and she wondered if he had the sense to just hold her without being prompted, but ... they'd figure that out when they got upstairs, she guessed.

Glancing to him, she offered him a sort of sad smile before turning to start for the stairs. She'd shower, and change, and crash, and maybe ... maybe things would look better in the morning.

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