RP: When Sleep Won't Come Characters: Jaime, Mal Time/Date: Just after midnight, October 17 Location: her room Warnings/Rating: Naked smut Summary: Jaime disbelieves Status: Complete
She knew she wasn't being fair to the people trying to comfort her over the network. She was cranky and peevish and she much preferred the life where she was sleeping and drugged and not having to deal with reality. Which wasn't a good way to live, she knew. It was giving up and giving in and all the other bullshit they'd all said it was.
She still didn't care. Sleep was nice, because sometimes she dreamed, and sometimes Mal was there. She always woke up though. Sometimes there were other people there. Swan brought the crown in once, but whatever had made it work before hadn't worked that time. Jaime hadn't seen anything in it and simply took that as further evidence Mal was dead and not coming back.
Jaime was eyeing the verge of the place where she'd have to begin to actually accept that he was gone. It was Sunday now, even if it had just turned into Sunday, and that made it almost a full week that he'd been gone. Balthazar was back. River was back. Lizzy was back. But Mal wasn't back.
Everyone who'd come back had gone to the new place ... so what if he wound up there?
At least he'd be here and she could talk to him. See him, if he could work out the webcam. Hear his voice. The only place she could do that right now was her dreams.
Reaching over to her nightstand, Jaime picked up the gun and held it lightly in her hand. It wasn't loaded, but still felt heavy to her. She turned it to gaze down the barrel of it before setting it aside again. She thought it was a taunt. River said it was a promise. Mal was going to come for his gun. Right. Sure.
Because they'd let that happen.
Jaime sighed. She eased out of bed to go wash up and brush her teeth. She stripped in the bathroom and crossed back to the bed. Climbing into it, she rolled onto her side and reached for the light. She gazed another moment at the gun before she clicked the light and drew her legs up slightly as she curled up to try to get some sleep. Maybe .. he'd be there in the morning if she could sleep, and she could sleep if she could ever get her mind to stop whirling.