Harry James Potter (prophecychild) wrote in incompletedata, @ 2018-06-17 09:49:00 |
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Having both his parents around (and alive) now was not exactly what Harry had imagined. For one thing he had yet to talk face-to-face with either of them. He wasn't avoiding them, exactly, but he also didn't want to just show up and dump his whole... thing on them before they were ready. They were even younger than Sirius. He'd never really thought of it like that before - everyone always talked about how Lily and James had been so clever and so brave and so brilliant, that it was easy to forget that they had only been a couple years older than he was, himself, when they had died. He imagined having a child in less than two years time and it made him shudder, and then he remembered that he was already supposed to be responsible for a baby. If he ever managed to get out of here. It was a sobering reminder that Teddy was waiting for him. The orphaned little boy he had never met. Anyway. He knew that as soon as he met James or Lily they were going to have a million questions, and he wasn't sure how to answer them in a way that wouldn't be devastating. He even tried practising them in his mind while he lay awake at night unable to sleep. Little untruths he thought, he could get away with, but not big fat lies. It wasn't as if they had to know about the Philosopher's stone. Anyway the rest of that year had been quite normal. How was your first year at Hogwarts? Well, I went to a Death Day Party and I got in a duel with Malfoy - what had they even been fighting about again? Hard to remember, it was all so long ago and his head was full of the last few weeks - The Minsitry and the dragon, and the Forbidden Forest... how was he going to tell them about the Forbidden Forest? Did he have to? It was all so confusing. And then he would have to tell them about Sirius. He'd have to tell Sirius about Sirius. He was dreading that most of all. In the end he decided to try not to worry about it until it happened, and tried to work out what he was meant to do as an artist while also surreptitiously as he could trying to discover an escape hatch, or something. In his experience there was never just no way out. He'd just broken in and out of Gringotts, for Merlin's sake, and no one had ever done that since, well, Quirrell. Of course, back then he'd had help. He'd never wished Hermione was around more in his whole life. And it would have been nice to have Ron, too, to fill the horrible silence that fell whenever he was alone, leaving him with just screaming in his head. But whenever he thought of Ron he thought of Fred, and that didn't bear thinking about. He did anyway. Fred deserved to be thought about, even if it hurt. They all did. He took to carrying a pencil and a book of blank pages with him when he wandered the grounds. At least then if anyone stopped him he could say he was looking for something to draw. So far he hadn't been able to draw much of anything, but he figured so long as he looked busy, he couldn't get in too much trouble. Anyway he next plan was to get in trouble in purpose. He reasoned that maybe he'd get to see something he wouldn't have, otherwise, so if someone had an issue with him wandering toward the garden, maybe it was all to the good. He was sure Hermione would have come up with a better plan than just 'break the rules and see what happens', but Hermione wasn't here. "So get off my back, all right?" he said aloud. It made him feel a little better, though he knew talking to himself probably wasn't a great sign. "I'm doing my best here." |