Bucky Barnes (freezerburns) wrote in incompletedata, @ 2018-01-17 02:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | marvel: avengers academy: bucky barnes, marvel: avengers academy: kamala khan |
so it'd be cool if you check out my
Hey there loyal listeners and welcome to my first ever squadcast and the relaunching of my music career. Special thanks to Darcy for setting this up, Steve for his great hair and even greater taste in music, and Delta for inspiring me to not give up on myself. Winter is a dark and painful time, but it's also about family and new beginnings and stuff so that's cool. First off, to talk about how cold winter is, we have Viv Vision with the weather.
Today's high is 40°F with overnight lows of 2°F. Mostly cloudy with winds of 2 mph coming from the West North West. The humidity is 84% with 4 inches of snow accumulation and 0% chance of precipitation. Atmospheric pressure is 30.26 inches and visibility for 10 miles. Air quality is a moderate 73.
Tomorrow's high is unknown. Tomorrow's low is unknown. Tomorrow's chance of precipitation is unknown. Tomorrow is unknown.
Darcy: Welcome to the Squadcast, ladies and gentlemen and others. I'm Darcy Lewis and I am sitting here today with a surprise guest. Guest, would you like to introduce yourself?
Deadpool: No.
Darcy: *laughs* That's cool. Mysteries are fun. How would you like me to address you?
Deadpool: I like to think of myself as the Canadian Ryan Reynolds.
Darcy: Isn't he already Canadian?
Deadpool: That's what they WANT you to think.
Deadpool: If he was Canadian then how could he have gotten Sandra Bullock American citizenship in the Proposal? IMPOSSIBLE.
Deadpool: or dual citizenship
Darcy: I feel like I should lose some of my Internet Cred because I was completely unaware of these Ryan Reynolds Conspiracy Theories.
Deadpool: The truth is out there, Darcy.
Deadpool: #wadethoughts #wakeupsheeple #hashtag
Darcy:: #WeneedtheXFiles #ScientistsMakeItHappen?
Deadpool: But not the new seasons. That is the LAST thing we need.
Darcy: Hell no. Old school X Files, back when Duchovny was bangable.
Deadpool: I still would.
Darcy: Scully is my preference, between the two.
Deadpool: I mean obviously
Deadpool: I thought we were here to talk about my book.
Darcy: I thought we were here to talk about our favorite houseplants.
Deadpool: I love all my children equally
Deadpool: Except Dave.
Deadpool: Dave knows what he did.
Darcy: He knows why he's out of the will.
Deadpool: Oh no there's no will, I can't die.
Deadpool: Death fell in love with me so Thanos cursed me with immortality so we couldn't hang out.
Deadpool: But like hell am I going to his soccer games.
Darcy: I always knew Thanos was a bastard, but I had no idea he was a bastard who HATED LOVE.
Deadpool: Bastards often do.
Deadpool: but not inglorious ones.
Darcy: What's the difference between a glorious and an inglorious bastard?
Deadpool: the spelling.
Deadpool: also the article
Deadpool: because you have to use "an" before words that begin with vowels.
Deadpool: I mean
Deadpool: You don't have to, really.
Deadpool: It's just encouraged.
Darcy: #SmashThePatriarchy?
Deadpool: I think only She Hulk gets to do that.
Darcy: I've never met She Hulk.
Darcy: So I don't get why she gets to have all the fun.
Deadpool: She's a lawyer. I assume she owns the rights to smashing.
Darcy: Yeah, someone needs to get on that trademark.
Deadpool: I should remind you now that I reserve all rights with respect to the freestyle interpretive synchronized swim dance routine that I'll be performing at the end of the episode.
Deadpool: as well as my ideas for a harry potter star wars crossover christmas special.
Deadpool: I will not let this turn into another Kevin Smith situation.
Darcy: .... I am a little afraid to ask about the Kevin Smith situation.
Deadpool: Well when you see Moose Jaws you'll understand.
Deadpool: ONLY A TRUE CANADIAN could be the true author fo Moose Jaws.
Darcy: I'm thinking Moose Jaws is a good place to end our conversation tonight. The only place we can go involves moose knuckles and no one wants to hear about that.
Deadpool: As long as we've reserved enough time for the dance number.
Darcy: There is ALWAYS time for the dance number.
While we may not be able to bring our things, we can bring ourselves. As soon as the timer starts, we need to hydrate hydrate hydrate. Water, juices, 1% or skim milk, or best of all, sports drink will keep us fighting fit long enough to find water in whatever scenario we find ourselves. If you're not sure if you're hydrated, check your urine!
You can go three days without water, but don't push it. Unfortunately we're not camels, but starting hydrated will buy some time. In the wilderness, follow animal tracks and plants to find water. Sometimes it's even in plants or, in mornings through dew! but finding water's not all you need to survive.
Consider boiling water or adding some iodine to sterilize it. If it's salt water, you'll need to desalinate it. Try using a tarp or waterproof surface and collecting condensation!
In a pinch, you can even drink some bodily fluids! But hopefully it doesn't get to that point.
"A duck taking a nap. Quackzzzz, Quackzzzz."
"A lion with a cold. Roarcough cough cough."
"A cow typing. Click clack MOOOO. Click clack MOOOO."
"Listen in next time to hear how monkeys playing trombones sounds!"
ADVERTISEMENT:
"KIDNAPPED. One tiny duckling from the zoo. Seen in the company of that Doom guy. Someone should probably save her."
"If you throw a ball in the air, the earth grabs it and pulls it back down. And if you jump in the air, the earth grabs you and pulls you back down. That's why they call it grabity."
[laughtrack]
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
[laughtrack]
Acupuncture is a jab well done. [.... so is stabbing someone in the heart. -Hope]
[laughtrack]
Hello. Today I'd like to talk to you about something that's irritated me in every single place I've ever lived or visited, in the hopes that we can all work together to make the world a little less infuriating.
If you've ever contributed to the slow death of our only available planet by driving a car, you know that in any given two-directional situation there are theoretically four lanes of traffic. They may not be painted or officially marked, but they are: the lane progressing toward point A; the lane progressing toward its antipode, point B; and two passing lanes, which drivers wishing to overtake those ahead of them can utilize to increase the efficiency of the entire operation by ensuring that bad actors can't cause the kinds of ripple effects that create infinite traffic jams.
Based on my experiences on every sidewalk ever, I expect it will come as a surprise to the vast majority of you that this is also true for foot traffic. A sidewalk has four theoretical lanes. If you intend to take a quiet Sunday stroll, window shop, or text, you keep to the right (in my American model); and, if you have any palpable sense of shame, you occupy the passing lane directly to the left of the aimless losers. That's it. It's seriously that easy. Walking two and three abreast is the equivalent of barreling past a Wrong Way sign and expecting other people to drive into a ditch because you just can't not hold your sweetheart's hand for three goddamn minutes like an adult with their own spinal cord. Don't do it. Just don't.
Thank you.