tattooedsappho (tattooedsappho) wrote in imp_inkstains, @ 2007-09-07 22:11:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | mischievous |
Current music: | Joan Jett and The Blackhearts - Crimson and Clover |
Eileen! Yeay!
Title: Erce Revisited
Author: tattooedsappho
Rating: PG
Words: 1,593
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Eileen Prince (Snape) (Tobias Snape, Severus Snape, Abraxas Malfoy, Andromeda Tonks, Dumbledore & others -mentioned)
Author's Note: Betad by dacian_goddess - thankyouohsoverymuch! Written for e_prince_snape's Pure Blood Prince Fest (prompt:autumn).
NOTE:Originally written 4/2/07
The leaves under her feet crunched with every step as Eileen wound her way through the woods on her morning walk. Her breath condensed in front of her and her nose tingled in the crisp September morning. The sun rising over the horizon highlighted the changing leaves, making the treetops appear as if they were ablaze. Smiling grimly, she found herself reminiscing about her past. As much as she enjoyed autumn, it never failed to bring unwanted drama or unnecessary pain.
~~
September, 1944
Excitement oozed from her pores, and she could barely contain herself as she made her way to Platform 9¾ for the very first time. She was going to Hogwarts! She was going to learn magic, and make friends, and cheer for her House Team at Quidditch matches! Her excitement was soon vanquished as reality crashed into her full force. Children were cruel; she knew that. She had been mistaken, however, in assuming that being a Prince would be enough to counteract her plain if not somewhat awkward appearance, and encourage at least some of her school mates to be marginally friendly towards her.
The train ride was spent staring out the rain streaked window as the grey landscape passed by, ignoring the smallish boy who was also apparently as much of an outcast as she was – they were the only two in the last compartment, having been refused a seat in all others. As much as Eileen was looking forward to Hogwarts, her excitement was quickly being overcome by the fear that the next seven years would be as painful as her first train ride.
~~
November, 1953
“No.”
“But fath…”
“No and that’s final. No daughter of mine is going to marry a muggle! How could you even think of doing such a thing? What happened to your pride?”
“Father, I love him. And he loves me.”
“Love is an illusion. You have been betrothed to Abraxas Malfoy since you were five, and you will honour that arrangement.”
“I will not, father. I refuse to marry someone I do not love.” Eileen pushed her hair out of her eyes and stood up even straighter. Her father might be larger, but she refused to cower in front of him.
“You will marry Abraxas,” he stated coldly.
“I will not,” Eileen replied, looking him in the eye.
Before she could react, Eileen heard the cold slap that accompanied her father’s hand against her face.
“Get out, you ungrateful wretch. And don’t expect this family to have anything to do with you until your name is Eileen Malfoy.”
Refusing to allow any soothing tears to run over the stinging red area where he father’s hand had been moments before, she turned on her heel and strode purposefully out of her childhood home, never to look back.
~~
October, 1965
Tobias had lost his job at the mill the week before; he was still looking for a new one. Severus hadn’t shown any inherent magical ability yet, and he was almost six years old. Eileen was feeling rather stressed as she poured herself a Firewhiskey to help her relax after a long day at Slugs and Jiggers.
She was glad she had kept her job at the apothecary after giving birth to Severus. Mrs. Jigger had been more than happy to watch Severus for her, and he got along well with Natalie and Tristan; she only hoped that friendship would continue once the three were students at Hogwarts. A loud crash shook her from her musings, and she turned to see Severus standing apologetically by a shattered vase, wildflowers and water scattered about the floor at his feet.
“Mummy, I’m sorry!” Severus seemed to be fighting back tears as he apologized, looking her in the eye and then quickly back to his feet as he hung his head in shame.
She stood then, slamming her near empty tumbler down on the table, and was powerless to stop the hysterical reaction she felt overcoming her body. Turning on the small boy in front of her she let lose all her frustrations upon him, the convenient target.
“Severus Snape! What have you done? No, don’t answer that. I know what you’ve done. You’ve gone and broken your mummy’s vase, haven’t you? Where is that magic that’s supposed to manifest? Shouldn’t that have stopped the vase from shattering? I can’t believe you, pathetic excuse for a wizard’s child! Surely you could have managed something by now, but no – not dear little Severus! I wish I never had you, you bloody squib!”
Severus’ face was streaked with tears as he fought to muffle the sobs wracking his small frame. He had backed away from his mother and was currently standing in the far corner of the room, knowing that if he were to leave he would only incur more of her wrath.
Eileen opened her mouth to start again but at that moment Tobias burst into the room.
“Eileen! How could you?” he yelled. “You will not talk to my son like that! I love him! Just as I know you love him! Why would you say such horrible things to him?” He put his hands on her shoulders and she tried to back away but he held her tight. Hanging her head, she let the tears slip out – her husband was the only person she ever allowed to see her cry.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she whispered, cowering from his gaze. It was the kind of gaze she felt could see into her soul, could reveal how unworthy she was of the love of such a man and his son.
He pulled her close then, embracing her not only in his arms but in forgiveness as well. Severus dried his tears in the corner and cautiously approached his parents. Tobias beckoned his son closer and pulled him into the embrace as well.
“I’m sorry Severus, Mummy’s sorry.” She whispered through her tears.
“That’s okay Mummy, I’m sorry too.”
~~
November, 1975
She dropped the receiver and fell to her knees in the kitchen. The annoying buzz of the receiver being off the hook for too long brought her back to reality, back to the chilling truth of it all.
‘Tobias is dead. Accident on the way home from work. Lorry crossed the line and hit him head on. Killed instantly, didn’t suffer.’ Information floated across her consciousness in bits and pieces. She forced herself to rise and replace the receiver, effectively silencing the telephone. Making her way across the room she pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey and poured herself a glass. She downed it swiftly and collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table. Summoning parchment and a quill she began to write to her son.
~~
September, 1980
Her son, her Severus, a Death Eater? Her son? She couldn’t believe it even as he told her, even as he confessed his soul to beg her forgiveness.
“Mum, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m going to fix everything, I swear. I made a mistake, I know that now. ”
He was on his knees before her, his slender fingers wrapped in hers and his lank hair partially hiding his sorrowful eyes.
“I can’t make excuses for my past actions, but I swear I will do everything in my power to atone for them. I wanted you to know. I’m … I’m going to Dumbledore. No matter what happens to me, I want you to know that I’m doing good now.”
She nodded mutely, eyes full of tears, as her only son stood and fixed face into an emotionless mask before apparating away.
~~
October, 1981
“Bollocks! It’s my fault; my fault!” Severus threw his tumbler of Firewhisky against the wall, sending glass and liquor flying in all directions. He turned to her then, his mask breaking for the first time in years and stepped closer.
“Tell me what’s wrong, dearest.” She murmured as she held him and he sobbed gently, trying to hide it, into her shoulder.
“I killed her. I didn’t mean to; but I did. I told, and now she’s gone, and it’s my fault. I didn’t want her dead; I never wanted her dead. Not her. Never her. I loved her.”
“I know son; I know.” Her mind filled with images of the unknown girl with brilliant green eyes and red hair that Severus had often spoken of in his younger years at Hogwarts.
He stiffened then, pulling back and solidifying his mask.
“I must go now.”
“Severus, what happened?”
“I cannot say, mother. Dumbledore must have known this was coming, and I’m sure he is expecting me. Never doubt my promise mother; you’re the only one I have left now.”
Moments after her son apparated away, the Tonks’ owl was at the window tapping impatiently. She let Orion in and he flew to the perch she had on the far side of the kitchen to rest and help himself to owl treats.
He Who Must Not Be Named is gone! Come over, we’re heading to London to celebrate!
-Andromeda
~~
Eileen looked up and saw the path in front of her spilling out into a public park, the occasional jogger or dog walker passing through her line of sight. She stopped and leaned against a nearby tree to clear her mind. Exhaling slowly, she closed her eyes and hoped against hope that this autumn would bring her news that was good for a change. She still believed in her son; he had just better have had a bloody good reason for killing the one man who had believed in him as much as she did.