I had loads of fun, Jon said, sounding frankly adorable.
The ensuing combination of butterflies and numb dread was disorienting. Lulu had been raised to trust her gut, trust the resurfacing thoughts in the back of her mind, but lately they'd been all black sails. Hadn't she been raised to try and be positive, too? I don't feel like being positive, she sulked inwardly, narrowing her eyes at the ring on her finger. Oh, but it's lovely, isn't it?
It was. Mum had even agreed with that. It had taken her a bit to warm up to the idea of Lulu and Jon, together forever -- but Lulu had always had a certain talent for convincing her parents that the things she wanted were inevitably what was best for her. Maybe her parents had had different ideas about the sort of person Lulu would marry, but then, half of studying abroad was the chance that someone might convince you to stay.
Jon had done that, for Lulu. Maybe that was why it was so difficult, to imagine that he might choose to live away from her. (It didn't occur to Lulu that she was just as capable of making sacrifices as he.)
"Ha," Lulu ejected sharply, settling back in her chair. "When mummy was my age, she'd been married already to someone ten years her elder. And she'd had me. And she'd gotten herself rich."
"Jon, your Mandarin isn't so bad," she added a moment later, softening. "I like it."
But then he went on, and he mentioned money, and he forgot to confirm how pretty she'd look in ivory, and Lulu wasn't really sure what to do about any of that. She hated talking about money, when she seemed to be making a good amount of it compared to Jon's earnings -- which were just as you could expect, really, being what he was. It was uncomfortable and odd when it shouldn't have been. Why should Jon try for money, anyway? He'd make just the same no matter where he was.
"Springville is boring," Lulu told him matter-of-factly. "And it's not got me. It's not even got good money, anyway. I dunno why you'd choose that instead of... This." She gestured slightly, to indicate the city, the growing darkness on the street outside.
"I hate it when you leave me here alone. I don't like being alone."