Waking up on and/or under a table was nothing out of the ordinary, in O'Brien's opinion. He'd seen stranger things at some of the other safehouses. As far as how or why O'Brien ended up at the library, he couldn't even remember or begin to tell you. He vaguely-- only vaguely remembered being dragged. Or helped. But maybe that was zombies. Or maybe it was after he'd made it to the library? Who knew? That's where he woke up anyway. In quarantine. At the library.
He nodded, "I sleep long enough to have the nightmares, most nights." Reaching back up to rub at his brow, he glanced around the rooftop from where they were, "I thought maybe if I could sleep in a real bed, you know... but that wasn't all that special. I slept," he shrugged, "but still not amazingly. And the nightmares were still there. So going to Brooklyn was kind of pointless... I mean, I did get the few guns I still had hidden around the apartment, that no one had found." He smiled and moved to pull his backpack off and frag it around into his lap to unzip. "And handcuffs," He dragged them out of the bag to hold over toward Eloise, "those were my spares. My others were stolen by the rookie, along with everything else important to me."
He wasn't sure how he made her laugh. He could be funny, yeah. Sometimes deliberately, other times accidentally. "Well.." he nodded, "Good. i'm glad I could make you laugh. Or can, you know."
O'Brien nodded, keeping his eyes on hers, "but I feel like I should. I know. It's.." He shrugged, dragging his gaze away again to look back down, "I guess not. People come and go so quickly, these days. It's like, they're in your life one minute, and the next-- the next, they're gone. Through various events, happenings.. accidents." Brows furrowed.
"I cared about Leah too..." And still kinda did. Even when he probably shouldn't. "You know what she said? She couldn't control losing her family-- you know. She couldn't keep that from happening. And she said I'm not careful-" he shrugged, "more or less, and that that was why she couldn't be with me. She couldn't control losing her family, but she could this. Stopping anything before it even happened. Cut me off before I even had a chance to prove anything to her. I make mistakes, Ellie. People make mistakes. I acted without thinking. And now.. I find out she wasn't happy with me. She never told me that. She never said, O'Brien. I'm NOT happy. Straighten up." He shook his head, "I should've listened to her when she said she didn't even want to be my friend. Then none of this would have ever happened, and I wouldn't be so fucking worried about it. I never meant to make anyone unhappy. I never meant to cause what happened on Liberty. Things haven't been the same since. With anything. They said, you know, to not blame myself.. but I still have people who refuse to talk to me because of it. And.. and this whole rebellion thing, Ellie. I was ready to help out. I wanted to help out. But since the wall thing, I haven't heard a whole lot of anything. It's Leah's and Evan's. Of course it is. And that's why. The Liberty Island thing took away some of my friends, other circumstances took away the woman I had feelings for, and now this. THe Rebellion was the one thing left that I had going for me. To look forward to, you know? I feel like I'm sitting around being useless when I could be helping. If anyone else had been in charge of this operation, I'd be fine. But since I hurt the person in charge--" He nodded, "everything's gone to shit. And.. And.. My nephew.. He likes George." He looked to Ellie again, "Evan's sister? He likes her. What am I supposed to do? Tell him no? Please don't like Frenchie's sister?"