"Then all this shit went down. World went crazy. Got outta that lock-up by some damn miracle. Spent a long couple of years wishin' I'd done so much different. When I came to the safehouses, I thought I could. Thought I could finally listen to that angel on my shoulder, tellin' me to make the right choice. But look at my damn track record. When I was tellin' that lie to Charlie, right as it was comin' outta my mouth I was thinkin' I shouldn't fuckin' lie. I should tell her the goddamn truth, let her make her own judgements about me. But I didn't. Didn't listen. Then, when you came along, was thinkin' I should lay off you and tell her the truth. But I still didn't. When it all came to a head and I started goin' off on you on those forums, I was thinkin' that threatening your goddamn family was the lowest I ever stooped and considerin' I'd never fuckin' do nothin' to a man's fuckin' family, I shouldn't say it. But I did. I don't know why. You have no idea how much it troubles my fuckin' soul, man. How much it anguishes me thinkin' this all over and wondering why I don't just make the right goddamn choice for once in my low-down life. Maybe I don't got it in me. Maybe there ain't no changin' a man like me.
"I never woulda hurt them. I want you to know that. I know you got no reason to believe me, but I got a baby sister of my own. I had Charlie, I had my lady, and she was my world. I could never turn around and hurt a man's family. It was a damn horrible thing to say, but I'd never do that. I'm so fuckin' sorry I said it. I was just damn desperate to get you to meet me, to keep you from talkin' to her. It makes me so sick when I think of it. I hate the man who said that shit to you. I fuckin' hate myself.
"Don't help that I know real well now that you were the one doin' right by her. I was lying to her, I was keepin' a secret that likely made me a real dangerous man. I sat there and threatened you and yours, and you were the one lookin' out for her. There ain't no part of my side that's right. I did everything fuckin' wrong, from start to finish. Fucked up so bad by her, hurt her, lied to her. Seein' her hurt was the last thing I ever fuckin' wanted, and I did it my damn self. You know how much that kills me? And I deserve it.
"I'm tryin' these days, Chief. I know it's too late for me. I done too much wrong. But I'm tryin' real hard to learn to listen to that voice tellin' me what's right. Think before I act, instead of after. Cool down my fuckin' temper. I ain't sure it's even possible. Ain't sure I can change. But I want to so damn bad. I don't expect you to trust a word I say. But I wish you'd believe me when I tell you I'm sorry. You can't forgive me, I'd never expect you to. But I really fuckin' mean it, from the very pit o' my heart. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all I said to you. I'm sorry I went so fuckin' low. I'm sorry I forced your hand, made you make the call and tell Cherry the truth. It's all on me. I'm honestly sorry. If nothin' else, believe it."