And sure, he had been an angry, bitter, workaholic detective, but that didn't mean that he wasn't those other things too. He still cared, probably smiled less, and was more than likely still annoying. But as much of an ass that he had been, he still cared. He hadn't completely been a lost cause. His smile brightened when she said that he wasn't invisible anymore and that he had a few people to help talk him down now. "That means a lot," and it did. Escpecially the part about him not being invisible anymore. He was a definite presence with the department, but after work? He was just a regular guy, usually at a pub, waiting for his cheating wife to get out of her show so he could ride the train home with her.
For the record, he liked the soothing gesture her fingers were making with the light massaging at the back of his neck. One, it felt nice. Two, it was comforting. And three, it felt nice.
"Just making sure," he gave her another small smile, listening to her story about being in Quarantine alone too. "When I was conscious, I had too much time to think too. So I know what you mean. I think I was delirious a lot of the time I was conscious too. so I don't remember a whole lot. But," He shrugged, "doesn't really matter now, I guess. You're out of quarantine, and I'm out of quarantine, and we're both safe right now--" he bit at his lip upon her question about the apocalypse making him a better person, and he gave another hesitant and gentle shrug.
"Well.. Yeah, now that you mention it, it kind of is. I-- I don't know if it made me a better person... But maybe a different one. Nicer? More open." He nodded, "less uptight. I think that the apocalypse has made me appreciate things more. You know? It's like... Even in my line of work, I never really stopped and thought, 'hey. This could be the last day of my life. This could be the last bowl of Count Chocula I ever have. Or this could be the last time I tell the Chief good morning. The last time I get a cup of coffee and a cherry iced donut with my partner...' I never did that. I never thought that when I woke up in the morning, it could be the last. After the rookie shot me, and I was bitten, and who knows what else, and I woke up in quarantine, I felt like fucking George Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life. Or Ebenezer Scrooge in a fucking Christmas Carol."