That explained it. More than anything, Elliot had wanted to be able to touch Rae again. Just one more time. And, if David's explanation was correct — Elliot could feel the proof — he was getting his chance. That, more than anything, made him feel a sense of peace. He smiled. Even more so when Rae's fingers traced the contours of his face.
Could he get by on existing this way, with Rae being able to touch him like this?
Something told him he couldn't. That it wouldn't be fair to Rae. Or to him. They'd only be prolonging the pain.
His words had done nothing to dissuade her from blaming herself. In all honesty, he wouldn't have believed it either, if a spectral Rae had told her death wasn't his fault. He'd have spent the rest of his life blaming himself.
Elliot gave a half-smile. "I always wanted to be a hero." It was meant to be a joke to lighten the mood, but he knew the moment he said it that it wasn't in the best taste. No joke told by a ghostly Elliot would ever be seen in good taste.
When Rae told him she loved him, Elliot felt icy tears slide down his cheeks. If he hadn't been so caught up in the unfairness of all of this, he'd have paused to wonder at the concept of being able to cry while he was more or less tangible. As it was, the confession of love had him feeling an overwhelming sense of grief. 'I love you' had come too late.
"Maybe it's best that we didn't," he said. "Maybe it's best that we didn't have more time. All the easier for you to move on." And forget about me wasn't added.
A sad smile returned when Rae explained that she didn't think she could love anyone as much as him. He shook his head. "I'm sure you will. I hope you will. I'm thankful for the time that we had, but you... I want you to move on. You deserve that. I'd hate to know that you lived your life in mourning every day."
Catching motion out of the corner of his eye, Elliot turned his head and blinked at what he saw. A door. Standing in the middle of the aisle, between the seats. He didn't need to ask to know it was for him, and that both terrified and comforted him.
Elliot glanced back at Rae, then at David. "I guess that means I have to go..." Go where was the question.