No fewer than twelve times over the past few hours had she tried to walk out of that room, to go back to David and reassure him that she would still be there for him. But each time, as she walked toward the door, she stopped. Some thought, some torturous thought of the love that she'd lost came back into her mind and she stopped, turned around and closed in on herself again. She could be of no use to David when she couldn't even put herself together. When she could pretend, that would be the moment that she finally rejoined Elliot's brother and showed him that he wasn't alone. When she didn't feel so lost herself. She'd gone nearly twenty-four years without knowing what love was. Twenty-four years of being blissfully oblivious to how it felt to have your heart completely held in someone else's hands.
She'd only been allowed to experience it for three weeks, before it was ripped away from her. Did the short length of time that they'd had together devalue their relationship, though? Rae didn't think so. Not if the pain she was feeling was any indication. She felt like someone had torn her heart out and was making a game of kicking it around.
It was becoming increasingly obvious to Rae that she was not okay.
She sat on the desk where just three weeks ago, she and Elliot had decided to officially become an item, where they'd told one another how they felt, hugging his jacket around her and crying. If he was alive, this would have been the moment that he held her, pulled her close and reminded her that she still had him. But she didn't. She didn't have Elliot and she didn't even have her father to make the pain go away.
How could she convince David that he wasn't alone when she felt so alone herself?
As if on cue, the door squeaked open. Rae instinctually wiped her eyes, trying to remove evidence that she'd fallen apart as much as she had, and looked to see who had come into the room. "David?" she arched an eyebrow at the sight of Elliot's brother. "What are you—how did you know..."
David looked at Rae seriously, his red-rimmed eyes informing her that whatever he was about to say, he meant down to the very pit of his stomach. And that had her intrigued.
"Elliot told me."
The next few minutes were filled with earnest David explaining to incredulous Rae that all she needed to do was be open-minded, put some faith in his beliefs, and she'd be able to see Elliot again. Rae was completely and totally incredulous, until David said, "he told me, if you didn't believe me, to tell you that he wants to talk to his circus partner. Whatever that means."
All traces of incredulity faded from her expression. How could David have known about that, if not...
And in that moment, as if fading into view, Elliot appeared in the room. Rae choked on a lump in her throat and sucked in a deep breath. "Is he..." she looked around. "Is he here now?" She wasn't sure if it was her mind playing tricks on her or what, but she needed to ask.