It was funny, in a way that was completely devoid of humor, that David spent his entire life preparing to actually meet a spirit; to actually encounter one face to face and talk to them, but when he finally did, he was so completely and totally unprepared to deal with what came with it. Had it been anyone else, any random spirit or anything that was less emotional, maybe he'd have been better prepared. Maybe he'd have known what to say, what to do. And maybe he'd have believed himself sooner.
But this was Elliot. And it was Elliot. He looked at his brother's spirit form and his heart both rose and sank. The joke was met with a combination between a laugh and a sob, as David turned his head and looked down at the floor. “I'd gladly hallucinate forever if you could come back,” he said without thinking. But he couldn't help it. It was true. He'd deal with whatever if there was even a possibility that Elliot wouldn't be dead.
Elliot's next comment made David laugh hollowly as he raised his hand to wipe his eyes. “Never thought I'd see the day,” he whispered. “I know, okay? It just felt too easy.” He looked up at Elliot finally, eyes rimmed red as he brushed a hand through his hair and scratched the back of his head. “And everyone kept talking about how delusional I was every time I did talk to you, so... it felt too easy to believe that it was actually you... and that made it easy to believe that it wasn't you. If that makes any sense.”
There were so many things that David wanted to say. A hundred thousand questions he wanted to ask and a hundred thousand more things that he wanted to tell Elliot. Like how much he missed him already. Or how he wished he hadn't been too afraid to pull the trigger. Or how if he had the chance he'd have done anything differently. Not thrown the pot, maybe. But none of those thoughts made it from his brain to his mouth.
Instead, he raised his head, looking at his brother once more, swallowing thickly. “Elliot, I'm sorry...” was all that came out at first. But that changed quickly. “I should've... I should've done more... done something...” he said, trying as hard as he could not to start crying again. “I should've...”
He paused, blinking and wiping some of the tears that he'd tried to fight back. “I miss you already...” he finished with, in a mumble. “And don't say you're right there, because...” While he was? He wasn't.