David Zimmerman (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} soeccentric) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} immune_ic,@ 2012-01-31 00:10:00 |
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WHO: David, Elliot, Rae
WHAT: A visit from Eli's ghost.
WHERE: Liberty Island, main hall of the safehouse and then Rae and Eli's spot.
WHEN: AU, January 12th, 2019, evening
RATING: SAD. Also medium for language.
STATUS: In progress.
I'll be lost without you, until the last of days...
He was gone. Four years alone, desperately hoping, begging any governing higher power to bring them back together, and just like that Elliot was gone. All because David had froze; all because David hadn't been able to pull the trigger when Elliot needed him the most. All because he'd stupidly thought it would be a good idea to throw the distracting pot and start the mad melee. Maybe if he hadn't done that, they would have taken Rae, but Rae was smart, right? She could have escaped. And then Elliot would have been fine. And then things could be normal. But no. Now Elliot was gone and Rae was lost and David was completely, totally alone in the world.
Nothing felt like it mattered anymore.
Why Elliot, anyway? David asked the governing powers. Elliot does good in the world. He's a hero. Why did you take him? He just found Rae, he just found happiness... and you take him away? Why? Why did you take him and not someone who deserved it? I don't understand!
He'd thought that his tears had dried up. Thought he had no more left to cry. But he felt the white-hot wetness in his eyes and he closed them, feeling the wetness trickling down his cheeks. And why not me, too? I don't want to be here without my brother... I can't...
He opened his eyes, looking down the hall he'd seen an utterly broken Rae retreat down after they'd received the news. She and David had hugged, cried together for a few moments, and then Rae had muttered, “I can't... I can't!” and rushed down the hall. David had entertained the idea of chasing her, but he didn't know what to say. Not anything to make it better.
He looked down that hall, hoping that some secret answer lay there, or at least that Rae would come back.
But... nothing.
No. No, not nothing.
All day, he'd been wrestling with these visions. Almost ghastly visions, they were, of Elliot in various places that David had seen him since they'd come to Liberty Island. On the way out of the infirmary, he'd seen him putting some supplies away. Waving David into the room. That one had been easily ignored, because Rae's frantic, uncontrolled sobbing beside him reminded him exactly what they were dealing with here. But when he'd gotten back to their corner, he'd seen it again. Elliot's ghastly form, sitting Indian-style on his sleeping bag, reading some paragraph from a book Rae had handed to him. He looked up at David and spoke, and David, so caught up in the loss and emotion, had responded. He'd held a conversation with ghastly, spectral Elliot, and for just a moment, it quelled the pain. As did seeing his brother's ghost-self coming back from the infirmary hall and telling him about a patient, and coming in from outside and telling him about an adventure he and Rae had just had.
“Poor kid. He's been talking to himself all day...”
“Well, he did just lose his brother. And he was a little strange to begin with, wasn't he? Makes sense that it would push him off the deep end...”
“Who does he think he's taking to?”
“He keeps saying his brother's name, so I can only assume...”
“That's so sad... the poor delusional kid...”
He'd heard the whispers from people surrounding him, yeah, but he didn't care. He was seeing his brother, and that was all that mattered.
And there it was again. David turned his head, and the faint, faded, ghastly shape of Elliot's familiar form looked like it was approaching from the hallway that he and Rae often hurried down, giggling and holding hands. He had his hand raised in a saluting-wave, and he addressed David casually, like he was coming back from an afternoon with his girlfriend.
Once again, for a split second, the reality of the situation escaped him, and he allowed himself to be fooled by the spectral vision of his older brother. Yeah. He knew that it wasn't real. But he needed it. He needed to delude himself. Because he couldn't deal with the fact that a) his brother was gone and b) he hadn't gotten to say goodbye.
But this time, the spectral Elliot faded before he even reached David. And David, who'd been so desperate to hear his brother's voice again, even if it was only in his mind, started to sob.