Ollie remembered, unlike Allie, the last time that she'd had to be strong for him. It was right after Uncle James' arrest. Between the fight for control with Derrick, who had never really respected Uncle James' command of the group and respected Ollie and Allie even less, and Ollie was ready to give up. But not Allie. And because of that, her strength had made him stronger. Now, now he was completely aware that it was going to be hard for her to be strong. He knew that he wouldn't be able to in her shoes. So, he sucked it up, closed his eyes and pushed the tears back. She deserved that. And he didn't want to be remembered as a mess, anyway.
"But you..." he stopped himself from talking, not wanting to remind her of the fact that she would probably feel like she was alone. When he found her, when they released him from jail, he should have taken her and run away. They could've been safe somewhere else, and he wouldn't have been forced to run around like he was immune when he wasn't. And now? Now he knew for sure that he wasn't. So yes, it was his fault. But he didn't say that; didn't want Allie to worry any more than she already was. "Okay..." he agreed hesitantly, bringing a hand up to push her hair from her face. "I just don't want to..." die. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave her. She wasn't alone, he knew that. The three people at the door would see to that, but he knew how she would feel. Much how he would feel if roles were reversed.
Like his whole world was gone. Because that was exactly what the case was.
Allie's reaction to the story did very little to make him feel better. He shouldn't have expected it to, if he was being entirely honest with himself. He frowned. "I wish I could... I wish there was some way..." he cast his eyes downward again. "I don't want to leave you either." But they both knew... he couldn't stop this from happening. He couldn't take it away. And she was right. The harsh truth was that mama and papa had stopped watching over them. He'd tried, for a long time, to cling to some of their spirituality, but it was impossible.
He choked on a sob when she told him she loved him. "I love you, too..." he whispered.
"Can you make me a promise?" he asked, leaning in to hug her and trying to be strong again. "I know it'll be hard, and I don't even expect it to happen immediately, but I want you to... try to outlive this, okay? I want you to be okay. You're so much stronger than you think you are. And I know you can do it."