Allie's heart sank even further. Not a nightmare, but a nightmarish reality. One where her brother was going to leave her here, in this world, alone. It was something she feared more than anything else. Losing her twin. Losing that one person who'd always been there for her when she needed him. Even when he was in prison, she'd still been able to feel that he was there.
It was even worse when Ollie's eyes began to shine with impending tears. She gripped his hand a little tighter, this time with both of her hands. No, it wasn't fair of her to break down like this. Ollie didn't need her to add yet another weight to his growing pile of worries. For once, she needed to be strong for him. It wouldn't be the first time, no, but when you lived your whole life being the weaker half of an inseparable duo, it was harder to remember individual moments where their roles had been reversed.
This would be one of those times. With a determined motion, Allie wiped away the tears from her cheeks and eyes, shaking her head forcefully when Ollie apologized. "No. No, don't apologize, okay?" When he started crying, she almost lost again. She had to grit her teeth in order to blink back her own tears. "Ols," she choked out the nickname. "There's nothing to be sorry for. It's not your fault..." Whether it was his fault for being attacked, Allie didn't know, but she refused to lay the blame on him for leaving her. It wasn't his fault she always needed to be taken care of and protected.
The last thing she wanted to hear right now was a story, but it was Ollie who was telling it, so Allie made herself listen. That quote had done little to comfort her back then, and it had just the same effect now. "I remember..." She'd still spent nearly every night that first year crying herself to sleep. No mother there to hold her. No father there to sing to her. And now there would be no Ollie there to keep her from feeling alone.
Her chest was starting to hurt from trying to keep herself from crying. "But you won't be here, with me." Selfishness was winning. Allie knew she wouldn't survive long at all without her brother, not just because she wouldn't have someone to take care of her, but because she simply wouldn't care anymore. Without Ollie, nothing would matter. "I need you, Ollie."
Allie was blinded by her tears. She leaned in to put her arms around her brother, trying to hug him without hurting him. "Mama and Papa stopped protecting us the day they died." Just like Ollie would, when he left her. She sobbed into his shoulder. "I love you, Ollie." Please don't leave me...