“And I'm absolutely not contemplating using this to my advantage,” Leah replied, smirking as she rolled her eyes to the left. “Maybe you can get some sketching or painting done on the nights you're up with her.” Her smile was hopeful and teasing at the same time. “While I'm sleeping cozily in bed.”
For all her moods, Leah wished she was better at hiding them, especially during times like these. Whatever negativity she felt tended to transmit to Evan, and that made it all the more difficult to pretend things were better than they were. She sniffed in a fresh breath and glanced over her shoulder at him. “Of course we – I – won't let it happen again.” If only she knew why it happened in the first place. That would make things a little easier. “I don't make the same mistake twice.”
“That's what I was doing. Pregnancy yoga.” Marigold was also another factor. Leah nodded, biting down on her lip. Plenty of women managed to raise a family with more than one child. While Marigold did depend on Leah to take care of her, that particular stress wasn't an excuse. “They did, actually,” she said with a half smile. “One of those women already had two kids.”
Ducking her head, she nodded and tucked some hair behind her ear when Evan made his suggestions. Or lectures, as he called them. “I wasn't doing any more than I thought I could handle.” She'd said it so many times that she was starting to sound like a broken record. It was hard to describe how she felt about the situation. One half of her was certain she'd been careful; the other half kept telling her that this was her fault. “I'd rather forget this happened. Or not forget it, but find a way to work through these last few weeks as easily as possible.”
“I'm sure.” Leah tried to give him a reassuring smile. “Honestly, right now I'm mostly on edge about having to be in the infirmary. If there was a way to skip this place and just have the baby in the apartment, I'd prefer that. I won't be able to relax here.”
She snorted a laugh and said, “As if I could actually run,” before leaving to sign them out. It didn't take long. Nobody stopped her or asked any questions and she made it back to the room within a couple minutes. “Are we all set?”