It was like Bea’s own feelings being repeated back to her. She hadn’t known how to bring it up because it felt complicated. “Too fucking weird,” she muttered to herself under her breath. “I fucking hate dancing around things, for the record. But I didn’t feel like I could say shit either, because I’m not really sure, you know.” It didn’t feel like she was making any sense either, but apparently there was something there. Fuck, she’d probably have to apologize to Vi, and probably Rae too, because both of them had pretty much said exactly that.
“Where does this even fucking put us?” she asked, uncomfortable as it was to ask. She laughed a little at his quickness to assure her that his flirting was genuine. She wouldn’t actually have cared much, since he’d just admitted with his first breath that it was natural for him to flirt. “Beyond flirting, I mean?” She fought the urge to fidget. She didn’t fidget, not ever. “And I wasn’t living down to anything. I get that you’re more than you’re fucking reputation, Brandon.”
This whole conversation was as close to a heart-to-heart as she’d gotten to anyone in awhile, and it also reminded her why she avoided them usually. They were fucking awkwardly painful. “Hell, if Vi wants to be so involved in my life maybe I should just find her so she can be having this conversation and not me,” she muttered, puffing a sigh. “I’m not any good at things that involve feelings. I fuck things up like a pro,” she admitted more loudly. “You might actually want to rethink whatever attraction you’ve got to me because of that. I only seem to do casual sex well.” And it was pretty clear that he wasn’t looking for just that, or whatever he was feeling (and that was still murky to her) was more than physical.
She couldn’t even say that it was just physical for her because she liked Brandon’s company and had really enjoyed the few times it had been just the two of them, and nothing physical had happened there. She was sunk, really. There was no possible way she wouldn’t eventually screw this over. It was just her luck.