"Who decides who's better than anyone else?" Toby asked, a question he always asked people who claimed someone was better than them. "No one is better than anyone, Silas. She's a human being just like anyone else. With flaws and weaknesses. You idealize her the same way that you get angry at her for idealizing you. And I'm sure you do the same with Regan and Brandon, am I right?" He paused for a moment, then said, "maybe you should try and tell them flat out. Like you did for me. Sometimes they need to see what they're doing to you by not letting you accept your part of the blame. If you suggest that it's harming you, maybe they'd be more willing to understand that it's what you need. That it'll help you heal."
Toby shrugged a shoulder and took another drink, paused, then started up again. "There's no right or wrong way to do it. Sometimes you just have to do it, even if it's hard, it's just something that needs to be done. They're your friends. They care about you. They'll understand, or maybe they can make their feelings make sense better than I can." He slid Silas' second drink over to him.
When Silas called himself a villain, Toby shook his head and held a hand up. "You're not a villain. You've had a difficult past, yes. And you've done some bad things, yes. But you aren't a villain. Everyone has done bad things in their lives. Some people here have done worse things than you. But they aren't villains. They're human beings. And you're a good person. Bad people don't want to be better. You want to be better and improve yourself. I'd say that puts you way above villain." And that was honest.
It was hard hearing someone saying that they felt like their loved ones dealt with them. "Don't say that. They don't 'deal with you.' They care about you. Maybe someone will try and make you fall back into your old habits, but there's always something you can do. And maybe if you let them, they'd help you keep it from happening. No one should have to go through life alone, Silas. Independence is one thing, but closing yourself off from people who want to help you is another thing entirely. And as much as you say you don't think you deserve them, I know that you don't want to be without them." At least he hoped he didn't.
Coming into this whole thing, Toby knew that it would probably be difficult. He knew that Silas, or people like him, didn't like to open up easily when it came to therapy. And he knew that Silas had been through therapy before, likely more than once. So he was willing to take the slow-to-accept attitude as it came.
"Silas, listen to me," he said softly, calmly. "You're a good person who is loyal and strong, and would do anything he could for the people he loves. I see it, everyone sees it. If that kind of person doesn't deserve people who care about him, then nobody does. I understand that you can't see it, it's always harder to see when it's yourself. But that's why you need people. Because they'll care about you no matter what. And it's not a bad thing," he insisted. "If you think they'll abandon you for anything, if that's what you're afraid of, think about it for a few minutes."
Toby nodded. "I know you don't. But you are, Silas. You're a good man, despite some mistakes."