Rae laughed a little bit. "I think it is. I'm surprised April hasn't started on it!" she joked. "But you love every second of it, don't even try to lie to me." She laughed a little when he did the pretend-finger-chomp thing and listened as EJ laughed, then did it again. "Uh oh. I think you accidentally invented a new game there." It seemed like EJ was coming up with new games every day. "Believe me, I know. Even I have a tough time keeping things straight sometimes. And he hasn't even started crawling yet. But any time now, right, Lilja?" she asked, using a tiny bit of Swedish. "Then we're really in for it." We. She supposed maybe she was being a little presumptuous, but if he minded, he'd call her on it.
She laughed at his face. Try as he might, it was pretty damn cute. "Well!" she continued the little joke. "I like using your full name. I think it's nice. I mean, I like Topher, because it's mine, but Christopher is a fitting name for you, I think. As soon as you told me that was your first name, I don't think I could ever go back to calling you Silas. It doesn't seem... it just doesn't seem you," she mused, then added, "which is odd, because it is you, in a way. You know, I've almost called you Chris a couple of times? Has anyone ever called you Chris before?" she asked. The question about her hair made her smile sadly. "It was a coping mechanism. My mother died and I was lost. She was my best friend, you know? I shelled myself in for a couple of weeks, only ever talked to Elliot or my daddy. But then I came out of it and decided to plan a Halloween party." Party planning was apparently her forte. "And I promised Elliot I'd dress up as an 80's fly girl. So I decided to go all out, and do the pink hair thing. It looked good, I think." She half-smiled, the memory making her a little sad. "But I looked a lot younger. So I don't think I could do it again."
Pushing some hair behind her ear, she smiled bashfully at Topher's words. "And nothing makes me happier than being with the two of you." The past couple of weeks had been hell. But she didn't say anything about that now, because things were different.
"He doesn't strike me as a good liar, anyway. It's okay, I'm sure he did better than I would have if I'd tried. I can't lie to anyone, but when it comes to you?" She chuckled softly. "I'm basically see-through, aren't I?" she pushed some hair behind her ear and shrugged. "Sometimes I forget that it's different with guys who are friends than it is with girls who are friends. Guys don't really talk about things like girls do." She chewed her lip and looked away. Anything but admit to being tired. She'd rather him think of her as insecure than know that she'd worked herself to the point that she could barely stand. She smiled, instead, at his plan. "I can't think of anything better. Maybe we can go to the city," she suggested. "Stay away from the safehouses, but I could show you my apartment and you could show me yours." The thought made her smile.
Sometimes she couldn't believe that he was this gruff, hard-shelled person in front of everyone else, but when he was with her... he was like this. She smoothed her thumb over his cheek. "Hey, you're not exactly a slouch either, Topher," she pointed out. "You're the sweetest man I know." She quirked a smirk. "You're... you're right there with Elliot," she said, before she could stop herself.
Was she sure? "I..." she trailed off, then said, "I don't know." Her tone was slightly disappointed, like she felt like she was letting herself down a little. "I'm just..."
She sighed and said, "yeah. Yeah, maybe I should sit down back at the party." Because she'd gone through the effort of planning the party, and she wanted to enjoy it. Even if she was tired. "Let's... let's..." She took a shaky step toward the door, and stumbled toward the wall. This... this was deteriorating fast.