“You know, I wish I was,” Kori retorted with a sheepish smile. “It might not be thirty pounds, but it’s pretty heavy with about 5 layers of fabric in the skirt. I went a little overboard.” She’d seen dresses that were honestly that heavy, and they looked miserable to wear. “I, well, I,” she stuttered a little, unexpectedly speechless at the mention that the girls would consider her a role model. She was more used to being the one who looked up to other people, and not the one people looked up to. “I’ll try my very best to live up to the expectations then,” she finally managed to get out, feeling a little ridiculous for being so caught off her guard. Would it help to say that were better women they could look to? Mother’s or people who had raised children, but then, she didn’t want to offend Toby, since he’d said that she’d already been helping in that respect. Better to just take the compliment and move on.
It would be nice. Maybe not the same as block parties, or the parties that the dorm used to throw, but a welcome reprieve from just surviving. Granted, the compound was a lot nicer than the government safehouses or being out there on their own, but a lot of the time it still sort of felt like surviving. A little bit of fun once in a while didn’t seem bad in Kori’s book at all. “I don’t see why I wouldn’t be either,” she agreed. “I was never the life of the party in college, but I liked going. It was a nice escape from homework.”
Everyone has someone their jealous of. Kori tried not to be a jealous person, but she could admit, at least to herself, that she had jealous tendencies. It was human, right? “I know, but it means they probably won’t talk to you,” she said. “You’re talking to a reformed people pleaser, so even if they don’t hate me, I still don’t like the idea of someone resenting me for something. I wish I could just be okay with it and not worry about what someone thinks of me because I have my family and my best friend, but…” she trailed off, feeling a little vulnerable around the edges, and she didn’t particularly like that feeling. It didn’t help that she was sure her mood wasn’t appropriate for something that was supposed to be fun. Hadn’t she just been saying how nice it was to be having fun?
“I don’t know how much of an expert opinion I’d have, but I can keep you company on the kitty search.” And maybe think about one of her own; she didn’t want to burden herself with another responsibility, even if cats were low maintenance.
Kori couldn’t help the fit of giggles when Toby mentioned that he’d never heard her complain. “That’s only because I complain to myself so that no one else has to hear me,” she responded, thankful that he hadn’t said anything about her mention of Mike. She was only just getting to a point where she felt okay bringing him up in conversation, even if she felt a lot stronger than she had even a couple months ago. She bit into her lip after she mentioned fire-breathing, because she suspected that it had made Toby uncomfortable. If only words could be taken back easily, she would take that back in an instant. “You’re right, I’m sure. Jace doesn’t seem dangerous like that,” she agreed, mentally scrambling for a different conversational topic and coming up empty.
She leveled him with a look, but failed at keeping an amused expression off her face. “You realize who you’re saying that to, right?” she asked. “I could easily think of a few crafty hobbies without even breaking a sweat. It really wouldn’t be that hard to try a few things out with the girls and see what sticks.” It was always a tough reminder that so many of the younger people had lost a lot of a normal childhood. Kori wished sometimes that she had been able to graduate college, but at least she could say she’d been able to experience middle school and high school. “They’re lucky to have you too.”