It was a nice day that day. Still chilly March weather, but warm enough to just wear a sweatshirt (one of Topher's that she'd stolen, a cold comfort in this situation). The breeze was kind of chilly, a little bracing, but it was nice. It woke her up a little bit more, kept her from being too tired. She was still exhausted, but at least it was something.
She closed her eyes for a second and thought back to a time a couple of months ago, when they sat up on this rooftop. It was before they'd confessed their feelings, but they just talked. Those moments that Rae loved so much, when they got to know each other. Most of their talking had been about their friends, of course. Topher had told her little stories about how he'd met Brandon back in the safehouses. About how they'd met by having a stupid fist fight. And to Rae, it seemed fitting for them. A pair of alpha-males focusing so much on strength, what introduction was more fitting? And she'd told him about old times having sleepovers with April, Kori and Sarah. How they used to pretend to be the Spice Girls and how they used to force James to dress up as Scary Spice.
They'd laughed so much that day. So much that she could vividly remember the smile lines in the corners of his mouth. The perfect way his eyes lit up when they met hers. The sound of his voice when he spoke to her, and the gentle, easy sound of his laugh. It made her miss him even more.
As she looked up from the table and off in the distance again, she swallowed thickly. It was like night and day. Sure, she knew that loving someone meant taking the good with the bad but she thought that with all they'd been through lately... they deserved some good. Why couldn't they get some good for a change?
It was in that moment when she heard footsteps behind her. Someone else in the building, probably, coming to have some privacy. A quiet place to think. "I'll go. If you want some privacy, I'll..." she spoke as she turned. But when she faced the visitor, she blinked and breathed in. It was him.
He was tired and haggard, and looked like he'd been dragged down into all nine circles of hell, but it was him. She stood, a little bit wobbly on her feet thanks to exhaustion, and gave him a weak smile. "Topher," she whispered. She wasn't sure if he'd come here on purpose to see her, or by accident because he'd just wanted some air. But it didn't matter right then.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
With every fiber in her being, she wanted to walk up to him, take him in her arms, hold him... she wanted to tell him how much she'd missed him. But she wasn't sure if he'd want that. Maybe he still wanted distance. With any amount of studying of her body-language, he could probably tell many things—her exhaustion, how much she'd missed him—but it was almost guaranteed that he could tell how desperately she was trying not to walk up to him and hold him.