Silas paused a beat. Longer than he should have probably, because it didn’t do anything to make him look less guilty, or make it look less like what he knew Rae was already formulating in her head. He never wanted to be faced with this situation, but he’d brought it on himself.
“Setting my meds down,” he answered, trying for honest as a last ditch effort. It had been what he was doing when Rae came in. “It was in my back pocket. Kinda difficult to sit with ‘em there.” God, he wasn’t doing himself any favors. But, he’d also never been faced with something like this before.
He hadn’t been on drugs when he ditched out of his grandparents, and anyone he connected with after, well, most of them were addicts themselves so they hadn’t cared a damn bit what Silas was doing. He had no roadmap for how to get himself out of this mess. And it was a mess. Or it was going to turn into one. He wasn’t that optimistic about it.
Right then would be a great time to sober up too, ‘cause he wasn’t thinking really straight either, which wasn’t helping him get out of this any easier.
“Just thought I’d relax here for a while after PT. You know, stay out of Lucas’ hair.” Avoid Rae until he felt like he didn’t look suspicious anymore. Too late for that though. At least there was the small favor that he wasn’t all that twitchy, but even then he didn’t think he was selling the nonchalant nap in his room all that well.
Yep, he was screwed, and Rae would leave and he’d be fucking alone again, fucking up one of the best things he had with his own stupid mistakes. Like déjà vu.
“Since he’s been feeling like shit lately.”
Well, at least he hadn’t told her it wasn’t what it looked like. Or maybe he had, just not in those words. He was more than little on edge and he was also preparing himself for the inevitable door slam and silent treatment. Because that’s how it had to go, right? He’d lied to her, he’d kept all this himself, and he hadn’t done anything to reverse where it was going. If those weren’t grounds to get left then he didn’t know what was.
And yeah, a small part of him hoped that wasn’t how it was going to go down, but he wasn’t going to hold his breath either. He didn’t deserve, and Rae didn’t deserve to have to deal with this shit. It was his problem, not hers.
“What’re you here for?” he asked, raking a hand through his hair absently or in an attempt to lessen the perception of a person caught doing something they shouldn’t.