Was he so transparent now that people could tell when he was thinking about Soli? Regan thought he might need to try harder to keep his grief hidden – everyone else didn’t need to deal with it. “Thanks,” he paused for a moment as he scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “Honestly, it’s just hard talking about Soli in general, because some days it still hasn’t sunk in that she’s gone.” Still, it was easier to talk to people like Leah, and now he supposed Rae as well because they both understood what it was like to lose a loved one. “Really though, you don’t want to listen to me ramble on about how Sol and I were talking about our future before everything went to hell.”
Nodding his head, Regan was kind of relieved that Rae wasn’t going to go asking him to divulge a bunch of Silas’ personal information. “Obviously he trusts you a lot,” he replied as he thought about how long it had initially taken to gain Silas’ trust and learn some of those deeper secrets. “I’ll be prepared for whatever questions you might have.”
“There might be one crazy women out there somewhere that doesn’t support feminism,” he joked, grinning slightly. “In my honest opinion being a human rights person is probably better anyway.” After he said that all he hoped was that Rae didn’t take it the wrong way or assume he thought being a feminist was bad, because it was, but being more into human rights hit a broader group of people.
He nodded. “I can’t say I’ve ever thought about it as much as you have, but I do prefer being the helper instead of the helpee as well,” maybe it was a pride thing or a self-reliance thing with him, and not so much a setting himself a part kind of thing. “All those self-help books seem to encourage it.” He remarked with a smirk. “So that many self-help gurus can’t be wrong about personal growth, right?”
Smiling slightly, he tried to act as if the nickname thing wasn’t such a big deal – it wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone. “I don’t know, some people just don’t like their names,” he began. “I mean I’m not exactly a huge fan of my middle name.” It was an opinion he had kind of formed as kid, one that had transferred into adulthood. “Now, I like the way you think, and the only danger is possibly getting punched, and that’s only a danger for me, so I’m game.”
Time. That’s what everyone kept telling him, and he only wished that he could convince himself that there would come a time when he didn’t feel this way. “Yeah, I know,” he replied with a sad smile. “Sometimes I just wish I knew how much time it was going to take.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Regan studied her for a long moment. “Nope, dry ground right here,” he answered honestly. Some people might have let this all go, might have bought the excuse and moved on – thing was Regan wasn’t most people. “If I were to bet money on something I’d say you passed out for a moment, which would make sense considering how much running around you have been doing.” This wasn’t said harshly, just honesty.
It really wasn’t his place to say anything, so Regan nodded his head at her request. “Like I said, I’m good with secrets,” he replied with a small smile. “So I won’t tell Silas, Lucas or April, I promise.”