If only it worked that way, but as far as Silas could tell immunity was a random thing, and he’d just been lucky enough to have whatever it was that created the immunity. “Lots of people run around without being immune,” he pointed out, not to argue. “Could see where that’d be a problem with you though.” Putting yourself in danger and knowing there was a possibility you weren’t immune was different than putting yourself in danger and going on the thought that you probably were because your sibling was. Even to Silas that didn’t seem like a real solid, sane theory.
There were a lot of things people should be doing, even now. Silas didn’t worry so much about goodbyes, ‘cause he didn’t have that many people that would miss him, but he understood the concept. There was no guarantee that anyone would come back. “And you shouldn’t hold on to that forever. I didn’t…” he stopped. “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Mike, and you know that.” The guilt over all that was getting better, but it was still there.
He rubbed a hand over his face. Things were coming out all wrong. “So you’d rather be Leah or Bea version 2.0?” Not helping. He was really shit at making people feel better sometimes. But some of things that Rae wanted to change about herself were the things that he liked about her, that had spurred on all the continually developing feelings he felt for her. He couldn’t just say that he’d like to see her act more like either of the other women. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you are,” he tried to steer away from an argument. “I like you the way you are,” he added more softly, aware that he was on a slippery slope.
And then she just had to go and be receptive to his stupid, spur of the moment kiss. It was more than just politely responding too, which wasn’t helping at all.
He was fucked. But even knowing that wasn’t enough to make him break the kiss the same way he’d broken the last. He was beyond logical thinking currently, or even caring whether or not they were in sight of the security cameras.
He didn’t need much urging from Rae to deepen the kiss either, lost more than just a little bit in the feel of it all. And on instinct and autopilot, more than actual thought, he took a risk and ran his tongue lightly along the seam of her lips, silently looking for permission from her.
Ignoring every last warning bell that sounded in the back of his head. Whether or not taking advantage of the moment made him a jerk didn’t matter; in a minute, or an hour, or a day it might, but in the moment he was actively choosing to just go with it. Maybe (definitely) it was because he’d broken their last kiss and he wanted to see, really see, if it had been justified. But, more likely it was because he was only human.