On some level, Silas could identify with some of Luke's behavior; wasn't like he'd been the most responsible at twenty either. But he'd grown up since then, and Luke probably would too. "Maybe a little," he answered honestly. "But just 'cause it's horrible doesn't make it not true. Give him a couple more years, could be he'll grow up and get to a point where you're not worrying about him so much." He could imagine what Luke just up and leaving without so much as a note had done to Rae. "Maybe having April around now will help too." He hadn't officially met the other twin, so he couldn't say for sure that he knew what she was like.
Why was it easy around him? It wasn't like he was usually the person who put people at ease, but if that was what Rae felt, who was he to tell her otherwise. "A futuristic phone, huh? Like the Jetsons?" It had been a long time since he'd watched Saturday cartoons, so he couldn't actually remember if they'd had a phone like Rae described. He'd always liked The Flintstones better anyways. "I could live with that." he could live with Rae letting him be around too.
Being a maid for someone else wouldn’t be his first choice of activities, but Rae didn’t sound like she minded, so he kept his opinion to himself.
“Sorry,” he apologized, looking a little sheepish. It was automatic for him to assume that David was gone, but he knew that Rae was going to try and hold out a little hope. Be optimistic. He grimaced at the statement; at the way Rae’s resolve was slipping. “You don’t know that,” he pointed out. “You haven’t lost everyone.” Not yet, and if the world decided to be nice, she wouldn’t.
“My best is never enough,” she muttered, sniffling and swallowing thickly. She sighed, then looked up at him. “I don't mean to be like this. I can't... I just...”
He felt like he was in the weeds, in over his head, and out of practice. He’d never been a comforter, and now here was the woman that he was pretty damn sure he had feelings for, so close to an emotional wreck and there was nothing he felt he could do to make it better. “So what? You’re just going to stop caring?” he responded to her mini-outburst, voice as level as he could get it, biting back his own frustration at not being better at these situations. “Lone wolf’s not going to work for you either.” Harsh maybe, but he couldn’t see Rae operating the same way he did. Didn’t want to see her operate that way, and yeah, maybe that was selfish of him.
Anything else he was going to say in the moment dried up when she started to cry, when all of a sudden he had a crying Rae making a wet spot on his jacket with her tears. Oh hell, he thought as he circled his arms around her. Did he just let her cry? Try to get her to walk the last couple feet to his place? In theory letting Rae fall apart in the quiet of his cell seemed alright, but now all he wanted to do was try to make her smile again, and that wasn’t fair.
She should be allowed to cry.
After a couple minutes of standing there and letting her cry he spoke again. “You aren’t alone,” he told her softly, even if he felt it wasn’t enough, it was all he could think of.
Taking a chance, he took a step back, far enough that he could tip Rae’s head up so he could see her eyes. “If Stone can’t get rid of me, neither can you.” He knew that life was unpredictable, but he had to give Rae something, and it didn’t feel like it wasn’t the truth. Then before he could lose his nerve or really think about it, he moved the hand that had been holding her chin to the back of her skull and bent to kiss her. Not gently, but not harsh, more like he was trying to prove some sort of point. What that was, he didn’t know for sure.
Later he’d blame it on fatigue, but in the moment he’d felt like he was thinking clearly. Like it was the one thing he could do.