“Guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that, there, Topher.” Rae shrugged a shoulder. If she'd had any inkling as to his feelings for her, she'd have been even more confused than she already was. Not that there was really a lot of confusion to begin with. She liked him, she was starting to see that pretty clearly now. And she got hunches every now and again that maybe he felt the same—he did things for her that no guy other than Elliot had ever done, and he always, always made time for her, no matter what else was going on—but running on a hunch like that, simply going with her gut, was a quick and easy way to lose him for good. It told her something, too, the lengths that she was willing to go to to keep him around. “But that's okay. What good are friends if they can't agree to disagree now and then, right?” Another halfhearted joke.
Rae's family was both growing and shrinking at the same time. She'd gotten April and Lucas back, and she had her son, who was the most precious thing in her life right now, but she'd lost Elliot and David now... and she was losing Kori. She had a hunch that she'd be losing Ellie the same way soon, too. “They're kids, but they're not. If I ever called Lucas a kid, I'd never live to hear the end of it,” she mused. “But, like... it's my job to be levelheaded. It always has been.” Even when they were kids. “It's exhausting sometimes,” she admitted.
Her head turned to look up at him when he rebuffed her suggestion to go to the rec room, and she nodded her head in agreement. “It usually is,” she chuckled. “Especially lately, since it's the warmest room in the compound, other than the kitchen and the infirmary.” And the vet station. “Thanks. I'd rather be as alone as possible right now.” Without actually being alone. “Well... with you, but...” she bit her lip. She needed to stop this.
“That's good. I think I'm immune to clothing monsters, anyway. You should see the state Lucas leaves my room in sometimes.” She chuckled a little and shook her head. “Boy's a freaking clothes-pile machine. No sooner have I cleaned them up then he's put them right back down.” She couldn't help but smirk a little at the thought. And unlike most women, Rae didn't bat an eyelash at Playboys. Her time as a stripper had pretty much desensitized her to nudity.
Maybe. The easiest way to say 'no, he's probably dead.' She nodded in acknowledgment of both the spoken meaning and the hidden one, her lip trembling against her volition. “Y-yeah. He's always... he knows how to get out of a jam if he needs to,” she nodded, reaching her hand up to wipe her eyes and hide the evidence that she'd already started crying.
His hand in hers was both a surprise and a comfort, and she looked up at him, glassy eyes taking in the compassion in his expression with an appreciative expression. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to thank him enough for all that he'd done for her. She closed her fingers around his hand, looking down at their entwined hands for a moment, before looking up at him again.
“I was supposed to protect him,” she said, barely above a whisper. “I was supposed to make sure that nothing ever happened to him.” Since she'd reunited David and Elliot, she had promised to protect both of them, and now it was highly possible that both of them were dead.
She smoothed a hand through her hair and blinked hard. “If this is... if this is what happens when I'm supposed to protect people, what's going to happen to EJ? Or Lucas? Or April...” she sniffled, feeling the tears choke her as she tried as hard as she could to push them back a little further. “Maybe... maybe I'm just supposed to be alone...” It was a grave fear of hers, but it seemed closer and closer to the truth as time went on.