Maddie shrugged, still trying to avoid looking at him. There was more to the story and, yeah, he probably did deserve more of an answer than the vague one she’d given. That didn’t mean she wanted to share the whole story. It was only his business because she’d gotten him involved and made it his business.
“Maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m just another one of those dumbasses who does dumb things because I’m dumb.” Spoken with an edge of her usual defensiveness, but not quite up to her usual standards. Better to call herself dumb than admit to anything else.
She looked at the window, their escape route, and didn’t have it in her to argue. Who in their right mind would argue with the person saving their life? Unless the person being saved wanted to die, which Maddie didn’t. “Real answer… Okay.” Maybe the trip up the ladder would give her time to make up a ‘real answer.’
Maddie didn’t let herself look down at the zombies below them. She didn’t want to see the mess the world had become, and besides that, having a Smasher almost obliterate her had put her off of looking at any undead at all. At least for the rest of the day. She knew she’d never be lucky enough to never have to see a zombie again.
Rooftops weren’t her favorite place to be. She wasn’t afraid of heights, though. Just preferred being on the ground…unless she was surrounded by hungry corpses. Then the rooftop was perfect.
Udeday demanded more of an answer from her. An honest answer that she didn’t want to give. Where was that unfazeable attitude that was her greatest weapon; the one she put in place to hide from everyone who didn’t like her? It ran away screaming like a coward when that Smasher honed in on her.
Maddie lifted one of her hands to brush her bangs out of her face. Dabbed at her nose again to wipe away some of the blood. Chewed on her lip, staring at the ground as if the answer lay there somewhere.
And burst into tears.
She covered her eyes with her hand. “I know it was stupid, okay? I don’t know why I came by myself.” She turned her back on him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I called you out here. This is the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever done.”