When Leah essentially called her out on her fear of ending up like her,Rae swallowed thickly. "I didn't... I wasn't trying to offend you," she said, in fear of kind Leah disappearing and turning back into the person who'd always hated Rae; right now she didn't think she could take it. But Leah didn't morph into the old version of herself. Instead, she was actually... sort of consoling. Rae nodded. "R-right..." she nodded. Though now, she was starting to wonder how long she would have her son for. At the rate she was losing people, she stood a real chance of being alone forever. Leah, once again, made a good point and Rae nodded. She'd tried to be a bitch in the past, and it always sort of fell flat.
The smile was weak, but not nonexistent, when Leah referred to herself as someone who understood. "I... I appreciate it." Even if it didn't seem like it right now. But Leah understood why, she hoped. Rae didn't have it in her to say much else than that. But she did appreciate it. Leah was proving to be a good friend, even if their camaraderie was new. Maybe, in the future, Rae would be able to better appreciate that.
You don't have to say anything. Rae nodded once. She wanted to talk, wanted to scream, wanted to something, but all her brain would allow her to do was cry and hold onto Leah like she was the only thing keeping her standing. Which was more or less a truth at this point. When her legs felt less jello-like, she stood up and closed her eyes hard—an attempt to stop herself from crying more—and only then did she notice that she'd been shaking.
Rae's own fury at the laboratory's experiments on actual whole-and-moving (she refused to call them "live") infected hadn't reached the center of her brain yet. That was an issue she'd deal with later. For now, she was still devastated, and the wound was still far too fresh to start analyzing. When it hit her, the fact that this could've been avoided without that damned lab, undoubtedly, there would be anger and consequences, but for now, her grief was too prominent.
Leah asked her if she wanted to head to her room, and the only response Rae could conjure up was a stupor-induced nod. She wanted to peek over her shoulder, but her gut told her not to, so she breathed in a shuddering breath and tried to stave off her tears, before walking with Leah in the direction of their... of her apartment.